I don’t know how many of you are fans of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
But if you are, you may remember the episode I’m about to mention. If you are not, well, I’m mentioning the episode and I hope you will understand.
It’s the episode in one of the earlier seasons where they have a fight around money. Ross, Monica and Chandler all have well paying jobs as against Rachel, Phoebe and Joey. They go to a fancy restaurant (“someplace nice“) to celebrate Monica being promoted to head chef. Now, since the latter three don’t earn so well, they end up buying the cheapest meals (which is not so cheap in the fancy-smancy restaurants). At the end of the meal, Ross divides the bill for 6 people. (those that don’t know the episode…I hope you can see where this is headed). So of course, the others finally say something about the whole money problem and how they always have to spend so much for birthdays and presents and promotions….
Anyway, the point of this post is not to talk about the tv series.
Rather, have you ever been in that situation?
I personally prefer paying for my share of the meal even in a group. And fortunately, my friends and I have done that rather than just dividing the bill. Having said that, in the past I have been with groups where the whole meal is just divided. And it’s awkward.
I have been having some minor issues lately. I am in the process of trying to save to get my own place which would also require saving for furniture and well, almost everything. Now, while I don’t have problems over meals, it’s other stuff.
For instance, a couple of friends decided to go for this pottery painting thing and to me, it was on the expensive side for something I am not even into! So I declined. They invited me to a scrapbooking course and again, I declined. And now I wonder whether they are thinking I’m antisocial or I’m depressed. I rationalised with myself that they live at home with their parents so they don’t have as many expenses as I do and they can afford to spend their salaries on other stuff.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not completely antisocial. I will go out for a meal or for coffee or even to the movies (as long as it’s something worthwhile) but I personally do not see the point of spending money for something that is not interesting for me at a time when I’m looking to scrimp and save. Yes, even if it means I could possibly be alienating friends. If I didn’t have concerns about money, I probably would have gone just for the social aspect of it.
The thing is, my friends know I’m trying to save. So a part of me feels justified in declining certain events.
And yet, the anxious part of me thinks — what if they stop including me in everything else?
Rational me: Too bad! 🙂
I guess, at the end of the day, if I can’t save, I can’t get my own place which is far worse than not being asked out to things by a few friends. And I guess, if they really are friends, they will understand and none of the above should matter!
Anyway, do share if you have had any similar experiences. Would love to hear it.
Until next time,