55 Fiction: Betrayal

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Their eyes met in the darkened club. She knew she should not. It was unlike her to have a one night stand. But maybe, maybe it could be something more. She did have his number. “After cousin Chrissy’s wedding” she thought. Their eyes met again. This time though, he was at the altar with Chrissy.

(c) Sanch Vee @ Sanch Writes (13 October 2009)

This is my first attempt at 55 Fiction so constructive criticism is more than welcome. I don’t even know if I’m doing this right but I’m giving it a go anyway.

19 Comments

  1. Sanch, the writer

    October 13, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    @ TearsnDreams: Thanks!

    @ Guria: Thanks!

    @ Titaxy: Not that creative?! You write brilliant poems woman! It will take time for an idea though…I can’t think of anything else at hte moment 😛

    @ Solilo: Thank you, thank you! 😀

    @ Legal Alien: Lol! I had to first write it on Word to check if I stuck to the word limit. It is hard esp given that we like to write and write and write…

    @ Soin: I guess it’s a common theme, eh?

  2. tearsndreams

    October 13, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    That was very nice.
    Life is full of surprises 🙂

  3. Titaxy

    October 13, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    nice… :-).

    i’ve been wanting to try this 55 fiction too…but not that creative i guess, nothing comes to mind

  4. Solilo

    October 13, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    PB, you got it absolutely right. It fulfills all requirements of a 55-er.

    Good one! 🙂

  5. Solilo

    October 13, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    Your header is fabulous and whole new look of the blog too. Convey my wishes to your sister!

  6. Legal Alien

    October 13, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    nice! i’ve never written 55 fiction because I’m no good at sticking to word limits.. Probably be a good idea for me to try this 😛

  7. soin

    October 13, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    decent one.. but many such similar stuff have been written..free

  8. Sanch, the writer

    October 14, 2009 at 11:32 am

    @ Matt: Thanks! 🙂

    @ G: Thanks re the banner and the story. So you liked the twist, eh? Thought it might actually be predictable… 😛

    @ Archana: Thank you, thank you…all thanks to my baby sis. That’s what I was looking for all this time — something to make my blog unique. And thanks re the 55fiction too 🙂

    @ Shankar: Thanks!

  9. G

    October 14, 2009 at 3:40 am

    Nice. Kahani mein twist! 🙂
    Mes lilke!!
    Hey your sis rocks! Lovely banner. She has said it all in one picture.

  10. Archana

    October 14, 2009 at 8:04 am

    Oooh love the new look of the blog! 🙂 It’s so original! I’d seen the other layout before here and there, but this one just makes your blog uniquely yours. Very nice. 🙂

    As for the 55, nicely done! Life is totally full of surprises, of who, what, when, where. You just never realize how small this world is until situations like that come up.

  11. Shankar

    October 14, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Thats a good one… good 55..

  12. Smita

    October 14, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    Someones celebration becomes somebody else’s Tragedy at the altar?? 😀

    Nice one!!!

  13. Sanch, the writer

    October 15, 2009 at 8:57 am

    @ Smita: Thanks 🙂 But the question is…who has been betrayed? 😛

  14. Aditya

    October 16, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Cool 55 fiction. Life is indeed unpredictable. 🙂

    And I love your blog look! 🙂

  15. ani_aset

    October 27, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    wow lovely this one..Do not reveal secret in title. Punch to come only in last line :)..good start PB

  16. Sanch, the writer

    November 2, 2009 at 9:24 am

    @ Reema: Thanks!

    @ Aditya: Thanks a bunch 🙂

    @ Ani: Ah okay…thanks for the tip.

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