Life

Oppositional much? I think so…

Sometimes I wonder if when I was younger I possibly might have been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Okay…maybe not exactly clinically oppostional. But I have been one stubborn person. And I have argued about certain rules and norms and refused to follow them. I have thought about the consequences of my actions and been fine with the path I’ve taken and the rules I’ve refused to obey. I don’t think I would be where I am today, 28 years on, if I hadn’t been stubborn. And mind you, I continue to be that way.

Source

But anyway, I found myself thinking back to all the things I’ve opposed over the years and couldn’t help but smile at some of them.

I remember being told as an 8 year old by a 9 year old girl that I had to stop wearing shorts and start wearing skirts. Because, you know, girls should be more lady-like. I think that was the first time I opposed something with the encouragement of my mum. I had panicked on hearing this and went straight to mum and said so-and-so said this…is it true? And I got the response that I could wear whatever I wanted as long as I was comfortable. And thankfully, the shorts stayed as long as I felt comfortable in them [Which was until I hit puberty and put on weight and didn’t feel comfy in them!]. After all, imagine playing football in skirts!

I got told by several relatives to “not play in the sun” as it would darken my skin. Pfft. Football and cricket were way more important to me than my skin. And fast forward to current times, I think I love a tan even more because I know it shocks some people back in India about how dark I’ve become!! *evil grin*

At around 10 or so, I was told to sit by crossing my legs. Again, more lady-like you see. I think mum and other relatives said this. Outcome: I purposely sat with my legs uncrossed! I did try crossing them but it was uncomfortable.

When I was in the 9th grade, I had made up my mind I was going to do journalism and would hence get into the Arts stream after the 10th. All was good until I got my marks which were apparently good enough to get into Science. Then started the comments by well-wishers who brainwashed my mum who also started cajoling me take up Science. What will you do with an Arts degree? I got comments from family friends about my choice of college (St. Xavier’s, Mumbai) and how people did drugs and it had a ‘reputation’. My response to those family friends was that I had a brain of my own to choose whether or not I wanted to do drugs. And the college had an even better reputation for it Arts degrees! Imagine if I had been the docile, good Indian girl and caved to others’ expectations! God forbid!!! Those 5 years were amazing and made me so much more confident and independent minus the drugs!

When applying to come to Australia for further studies, I got similar comments about my degree choice. Are you sure doing psychology is a good idea? Your parents are spending all this money and what if you don’t get a job when you return? [They didn’t know my plans to stay back here!] What is this degree going to give you anyway?

More recently, it has been about marriage and how important it is. And my response to that: I doubt I’ll ever get married! Doesn’t mean I won’t have a relationship or have kids though. *evil grin*

I think listening to people telling me how to do things their way or according to the norm has always instilled this rage in me to show them otherwise. You can’t do much with psychology — I’ll show you! You can’t go to Xavier’s because you’ll become a junkie — I’ll show you! You have to be gentle and docile and lady-like — I’ll show you! Good girls don’t drink — I’ll show you!

The more people doubt me, the more that spurs me on. The more people say I shouldn’t do things, the more determined I become to do it and show them it’s not the end of the world [Not to the point of stupidity, of course!]

I still don’t know where I got that stubborn streak from. But I am so glad I have it!!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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No Comments

  • Reply
    R's Mom
    February 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

    More to you and continue the stubborn streak…I mean seriously…why ARE people like this 🙁

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 5:49 am

      R’s Mom…I seriously do not understand these people! What kind of perverse pleasure do they get from sticking their noses into other people’s businesses?! Sigh…but yes, I will continue this stubborn or oppositional streak! 😀

  • Reply
    Maddie
    February 5, 2012 at 11:35 am

    PB, I believe these well wishers and aunties are more interested in the affairs of others rather than minding their own business. These nosy people apparently have no other way to pass their time. It is often you will find that these very people have inferiority complex, want to hide their drawbacks by showing others down. And we Indians suffer from ‘log kya kahenge?’ complex. In such an environment it is difficult to follow one’s path and making any decision by just thinking about ourselves. Stubbornness is a necessity I think and glad you could make it out of the tangled web!! 🙂 *Hugs*

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 7:52 am

      Maddie, I do agree with the inferiority complex or at least being envious! And then they want others to suffer too…and be like them! Tangled web…that’s actually the perfect way to describe this nosey part of Indian society!

  • Reply
    Srinidhi
    February 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    heheheh. oh i missed your posts. i have been so missing from this space!! all i can say post this post is YOU GO GIRL!! 😀

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 8:10 am

      Where have you been Nids!! Missing your posts too and your presence! And thanks… 😀

  • Reply
    Double Inverted Commas
    February 5, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    High-five!

  • Reply
    Smitha
    February 5, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    More power to the defiant you! And why not? Esp when all it means is that you what you want!

    I love your response to the marriage question 🙂

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 8:54 am

      Thanks Smitha…exactly my point…it’s my life and what I want…why do other people want to interfere?? 😐

  • Reply
    Michael Horvath
    February 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

    It doesn’t sound like a “stubborn streak” to me. It sounds like you are an independent thinker.

    • Reply
      Titaxy
      February 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      Totally agree.

    • Reply
      Comfy
      February 8, 2012 at 9:57 pm

      Exactly!

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 9:07 am

      Long time no see Michael! I notice you’ve deleted your original blog. Independent thinker — I like that! I guess you are right…it probably was the case from a young age!

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 9:08 am

      Thanks T and Comfy!

  • Reply
    Purba
    February 6, 2012 at 3:19 am

    All I see is a spunky girl who always knew what she wanted! And look how well she’s doing for herself.

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

      Welcome here Purba! Thanks for the lovely comment. I do feel that even if people aren’t completely sure of what they want, society shouldn’t try to impose its views on what’s best for the person! 🙂

  • Reply
    starry eyed
    February 6, 2012 at 4:21 am

    I totally have it too, hon….and it ALWAYS feels good to do it MY WAY, and not sufer all the dire cosnequences they warned me about…life is for living, just one chance. Way to go, you!!

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 9:17 am

      Starry, long time no see…and on your own blog too! I love what you’ve said…life is for living! And if it’s our life, we should be allowed to live it our way!

  • Reply
    Gangubai
    February 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    glad that you have this streak PB! it makes you, ‘you’.

    I took some career decisions like a ‘docile, good Indian girl’ and I repent those till this date. I wanted to take up Arts and study English Literature. Butthanks to my marks, my mom was completely against the decision and I ended up taking commerce and doing an MBA. I learnt a lot from my MBA and had varied experiences in my corporate life, but it wasn’t my passion and I began to lose interest in what I was doing.
    I turned ‘rebellious’ only in my mid -twenties and now do only those things which I want to pursue and not for the society. And despite the brickbats, those are the decisions which have made me happy.

    I’m proud of you!

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

      Thanks Gangu! I know some friends who took paths like you did and while they learnt a lot, they are not happy and don’t have a passion either. I still remember how my best friend from high school said to me a couple of years ago she wished she had the balls like me to do something different and follow her passion! And you know, when we make our own decisions, as you said, not matter what people say, we can still be happy because we are doing what we want!!!

  • Reply
    Diksha Sharma
    February 8, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Stubborness, a considerable amount, is essential. you don’t want to come out as a push-over, do you? 🙂
    nice post. 🙂

    do check out my blog too. maybe we’d like to follow each other? 🙂

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 11, 2012 at 9:40 am

      Welcome here Diksha! It’s funny…in some ways I can be oh-so-unassertive but when it comes to my life and people telling me what to do, it all goes out the window and I see red! 😛 Will hop over to your space…

  • Reply
    opinionsandexpressions
    February 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    saare niyam tod do, niyam pe chalna chhod do 🙂

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      February 22, 2012 at 10:53 pm

      I remember these words/lyrics Reema…can’t remember what song though! 😛

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