Loop Poetry: Unanswered #atozchallenge

I wish you could see
See what I mean
Mean when I ask
Ask you to come clean

Tell me no lies
Lies that you live
Live a double life
Life to another, you give

I’ve seen the other girl
Girl with red hair
Hair that’s wild
Wild beyond compare

Does she make you feel
Feel different than I do
Do you still want me
Me, who still loves you

(c) Sanch Vee @ Sanch Writes (14 April 2017)

***

Loop Poetry is a poetry form created by Hellon. There are no restrictions on the number of stanzas nor on the syllable count for each line. In each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two, last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3, last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4. This is followed for each stanza. The rhyme scheme is abcb.

This has been written for the 2017 A to Z Challenge

  1. Shailaja V

    April 14, 2017 at 10:49 am

    I’ve started looking forward to how you’d change the poetic form daily and trying to guess which structure you’d implement. This is taking me back to college and literary appreciation all over again.
    As for the poem, it’s so poignant in its heartbreaking appeal.

  2. malraj

    April 14, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    That’s a question which pierces your heart and aches you all over. I never knew this form of poetry and I am glad I stumbled upon this πŸ˜€

  3. Duncan D. Horne

    April 14, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    That’s really good, I like that!
    Absolutely Amazing Alliteration

  4. Vinay Leo R.

    April 14, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    I like the poem, poignant as it is.
    I’ve tried my hand at loop poetry before, but I’ve gone with the loop through the poem actually. your way is better, though. πŸ™‚ doesn’t force the loop or the rhyme.

  5. Roshan Radhakrishnan

    April 14, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    This series needs to be an ebook at the end… so if I were you I would start googling for ‘ebook cover images’ already πŸ˜€

    1. Sanch, the writer

      April 14, 2017 at 4:44 pm

      Lol thanks Roshan πŸ™‚ I am thinking about it

  6. Sreesha

    April 14, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    We always question where we fell short when someone chooses someone else over us. This poem hit too close to home for me.
    Loved the form!

  7. Reema D'souza

    April 14, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    The poem is just a poignant one. But I love the way you have used the structure of loop poetry to portray this.

  8. Suzy

    April 14, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    Another interesting form but a fun one. Your poem is however a tad sad. Perhaps best if she moved on – no point wasting time on a man who is with another.

    Suzy at Someday Somewhere Live as if

  9. Roma Gupta Sinha

    April 14, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Another great form, love to learn something new every time I am here 😊 This AtoZ is enriching for me in many ways. Thanks s heap.

    Truly Yours Roma

  10. Menaka Bharathi

    April 14, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Such a poignant poem….Yes think it brought memories where someone choose someone else over me..Still the question lingers in my mind πŸ™

    Launching SIM Organics This April
    *Menaka Bharathi *
    *SimpleIndianMom*

  11. Karnika Kapoor

    April 14, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    That poem just broke my heart!
    I like how you explain the type and kind of poetry, I had read your previous post Kyrielle and learned about different forms of poetry.
    Thanks for sharing
    Best Wishes!

  12. Shalini

    April 15, 2017 at 12:04 am

    This is brilliant. I loved this form of poetry for its rhythm. And as usual you have penned down a gem of a poem to enable peeps to understand the form.

    One of the best blogs I am reading on #atozchallenge πŸ™‚

    Leather that weathers in Pushkar

  13. Soumya

    April 15, 2017 at 12:55 am

    This seems like something I might be able to do.

  14. Shalini R

    April 15, 2017 at 2:42 am

    I so so so loved this one, Sanch! This is bloody brilliant. I loved the loop concept! <3

  15. Vidya Sury

    April 15, 2017 at 3:09 am

    I like the form, Sanch! You’ve written it beautifully!

  16. Team MocktailMommies

    April 15, 2017 at 3:52 am

    Loop poetry seemed like a relay race. With words this relay has conveyed drama, emotions and a complete story so well that one cant resist reading and re-reading it!
    ————————————————
    Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
    Collage Of Life

  17. Shilpa Garg

    April 16, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Oh wow! That’s wonderful. I like this form of poetry and am amazed at the way the words flowed so easily and meaningfully! Well done, Sanch!

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