All about the mind

Sugar and spice and all things nice…

…that’s what little girls are made of.

Do you remember that poem?

I would disagree now.

Girls can be extremely nasty creatures. I say this not as a generalisation but as an observation. I do know there are girls and women who are probably made of “all things nice”. But there’s some that are not.

Girls nowadays seem to be nastier than ever. Bitchier than ever. And no, I’m not talking of grown women. Rather, I’m talking about the teenies and the tweenies.

What has happened to them? Why are they so nasty?

When boys bully other boys, it’s usually physical — the odd-punch up and it’s forgotten. In the worse cases of course, there’s a lot more physical and emotional bullying referring to the not so blokey-blokes as gay and making other such homosexual innuendos.

But girls…girls can be backstabbers. They can choose not to like another girl just because she may not be as pretty or may be wearing glasses or may be a tomboy or God forbid, eats! And they are much meaner and much more sly.

It’s the nasty comments.

It’s the dirty looks.

It’s the ignoring.

And the spreading of rumours.

And of course, in this day and age, it’s through the likes of blogs and social networking websites.

I have a confession. I was a bully too. But I have apologised to the person. At the same time, I have been a victim — in kindergarten. I had to tear up another girl’s book in order to be part of a group. Yes, kindergarten. I got into trouble with the teacher. I remember the day as clearly as though it was yesterday.

I never did get punished for the other bullying as a teenager. But I think that hurt a lot more because I hurt someone else much more. And that was punishment enough.

Why am I talking about this?

It’s because I am dealing with this in my line of work. And while I am trying to educate these girls, I honestly do not see much hope. How is it possible when everyone ‘cool’ on the television and in the media is portrayed as nasty? When reality television loves nasty people? When putting others down is portrayed as being funny?

All I can do is pray and have faith that some day, these young girls will learn a lesson and change their ways to become fine women.

I guess, all I can do, is hope…

…hope for the best.

Until next time,


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  • Orhan Kahn
    March 11, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Boys can be just as bad, if not worse. But as a female I suspect you observe these things differently.

  • MilesPerHour
    March 11, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    They never do say what spice they are made of though. Chili Pepper? Salt? And don’t dare eat a basil leaf!

  • Kartikey
    March 11, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    How is it possible when everyone ‘cool’ on the television and in the media is portrayed as nasty?

    Very true. Girls are taught to be ‘bitchy’. To be mean to other girls and to groom themselves for men only. To connect almost everything to getting a man. And then there are some women, who realise their life and write books (make art) that do not subscribe to ‘the world of men’.
    Guess who enforces inferiority on their little girls. Which sex?

  • Joel
    March 11, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    woah .. and i thought i was the only one who observed this .. was working as an assistant teacher (IT) not so long ago .. and had to deal with 10th, 8th and 5th graders .. u are right in saying that guys .. were not the nasty ones in class .. it was almost like most of the gurls in there were made of pure 100% un-adultered evil .. i mean .. damn !! .. one look in their eyes .. or just a lill talk with them .. is all thats enough to make u cringe .. i seriously pray for em ..

  • Psych Babbler
    March 12, 2009 at 10:01 am

    @ Orhan: That is entirely possible. Most of this is based on what I’m seeing nowadays…and I’m having fewer boys bullying as compared to girls. Especially on things like bebo or myspace or facebook…and it’s a whole lot nastier!

    @ MPH: Lol…you make a good point! 🙂 Having said that, I love chilli pepper. 😛

    @ Kartikey: Yes…women are their own worst enemies in this day and age. It’s one thing to be a feminist and to want equal rights. It’s a totally different thing to be manipulative and bitchy.

    @ Joel: Yeah…I worry when working with some of the ‘bullies’. They pick on other girls who wear glasses, who are not skinny…and I fall in both…and I am willing to bet they make fun of me behind my back because I’m not ‘cool’ but rather, a nerd. :S

  • Joel
    March 12, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    awww dont worry about it gurl .. lill do they know .. and trust me they will realize son when they grow up .. that its the geeks and nerds that rule the world … 🙂 .. their terror reign is all but short lived ..

  • mesoliloquy
    March 12, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Girls or Boys…gender doesn’t matter when it comes to nastiness. Girls can be very cunning and tricky and mentally bully another.

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