Life NaBloPoMo

25 going on 30…or 35

That’s me.

Age 25.

But feel think 30.

Ever heard of the phrase, you’re on as old as you feel? Being the cognitive-behavioural proponent that I am, I’m going to adapt it to “you’re as old as you think”.

I don’t feel 30. Not physically.

But my thinking is such that I definitely think I’m 30+. Let me explain.

I have always been mature for my age…or so I have been told. By family. By friends. The older I get, the more mature I become. I was never your stereotypical adolescent. I was pretty well-behaved and goal-directed. I was never into the whole partying mode. In fact, I visited a nightclub for the first time when I was 18 and hated it. I haven’t been back to one since.

I never did drugs nor smoked. I drink but not just to get drunk as I know some people do, including a few friends (It doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten drunk…I have)

I have always been the youngest of all my friends but rarely thought that way. Currently here, majority of my friends are aged 26 to 29 years. And yet, I find that I think of them as being younger than me. Part of it probably has to do with the fact that most of them live at home with their parents and the two that don’t are married. I sometimes feel that my friends just don’t get me…get where I’m coming from intellectually.

Maybe it’s all the responsibilities. Living by myself. Managing my own finances. Not depending on my parents. Needing to pay back my parents. Trying to achieve my next goal. And the next and the next.

Maybe it’s the kind of work I do. Helping young people, some aged 21-22, who have had a shitty and fucked up life. Listening to horror stories. Assisting parents in managing their children. Dealing with young people who may be suicidal or at risk of harm. Being the person teachers come to when they are struggling with a particular kid thinking I might have all the answers (even though they have way more experience!)

Maybe it’s the people I work with. I’m the youngest at my workplaces. But I get along well with colleagues despite the fact that I have no kids and almost all of them do. In fact, they forget I am the youngest unless we are celebrating someone’s birthday.

Maybe it’s just me. My temperament. My personality.

I was going through one of my low phases some weeks ago and one of my thoughts was “I’m going to be alone the rest of my life” (dwelling on my singledom staus…which I’m generally quite content with) only to be reminded by someone close to me that I am only 25 and the “rest of my life” is quite a long way away. Yes, only 25. But because I think I’m 30+ in my head, I tend to forget how young I actually am! Of course, the few strands of grey hair don’t help! 😛

On the note of singledom by the way, I find that I am not attracted to guys my age and think of most of them as immature or irresponsible (I know there probably are contradictions out there…). Just as an example…while growing up, I’ve always found the older cricketers attractive. And Adam Gilchrist has only grown more attractive in my eyes the older he has become!

I’m not worried about aging in case that’s what you think this is about. I just wonder…is it because I am so mature…so responsible…so bloody level-headed that I think I’m older than 25? Is that why I chose the kind of career I did? The kind of path I have? Or have I become more mature because of the career path?

I just wonder about it.

So yes, I’m 25 going on 30…or 35. And I may forget my age and respond 30 in a year or two.

Do any of you go through this?

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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No Comments

  • Reply
    miss carly
    November 5, 2009 at 10:09 am

    im forever being told im very mature for my age. im the eldest + was an only child for 10 years. i put it down to alot of what i grew up with; saw; had happen to me; etc. i dont think like a 22 year old. otherwise i would be like the rest of the girls my age and having babies and living off the dole as opposed to getting a degree or trade or job and working my arse off to save for a house. though i have noticed some of my ideals have changed since having my boyfriend. but meh. i think only for the better.

    but im definitely with you. i do like to drink. on the odd occasion. but i dont need drugs or alcohol to have fun. and i hate clubbing. and have not been to a club since moving to sydney. {the clubs in forster are the rsl or pubs}..

  • Reply
    soin
    November 5, 2009 at 11:41 am

    a little yes..and yes i find slightly older women more attractive..u generally need say those ceeshy things to please them..and you r lucky to be there in aus..if u were in india and 25 all the unknown aunts would be swooping now i guess..free

  • Reply
    mahmud faisal
    November 5, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    PB, you know I am always told that I have always been mature for my age… since my childhood or adolescent, I have never done anything that might be a concern to my parents or my relatives. Most interesting part is, I was sad for such quality of me as I had very little chances to enjoy (if i felt it as enjoyment) like others of my age. Never smoked, never had any drink, no clubbing, nothing at all… In playing field, never had problem with anybody… almost wired I guess! 🙁

    I thereby can’t jump with my friends in gossips, in playgrounds, in tv room of dormitory… I am 23, but feel easy to talk with 10+ aged than me! Hahaha.. most probably I am sharing my these feelings for the first time in life…on your blogs, in comments..

    anyway, I think it’s just a personality type, might be good, but not bad at all !

    Take care and be good 😛

  • Reply
    Archana
    November 5, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Yupppp. 🙂 I totally go through this syndrome all the time, and so much of it for me has to do with emotional intelligence and how to handle people! I swear, you’d think people would get better at that stuff with age as they mature…but apparently maturity & age have nothing in common, lol. I’m always that person that everyone I know comes to for advice, be it younger or double digits older than me.

    Was an interesting post to read. 🙂

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    November 5, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    i’ve been told i’m mature too…i think it has to do a bit with my family..being eldest of the 3, i was always told to be more responsible, patient etc etc to show my sisters the right way…seeing my mom put up with some shittiest kind of people and not lose her patience over anything has taught me a lot…no i wouldn’t put up anyone like that, but i’ve learned to forgive little things because of those…learned patience that way…growing up with father who valued independence more than anything else, has taught me a lot…and it all adds up like this

    i never did anything typical as a teenager…hated partying, went to night club for the first time when i was 22 and hated it…don’t drink, don’t smoke, no drugs…and all that you’ve mentioned…

    but i don’t feel 30 :P….i dunno why you do :D..maybe it is your job

  • Reply
    Richa
    November 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    It was like reading myself think in this post. It has been story of my life, though I call it being more sensitive about my surroundings than being mature. And I am 30+ for a fact. But I know what you mean.

    I have always had friends who are older than me. I have found older man better than anyone my age and often wonder when do guys my age will acheive that level maturity. And trust me, none of them have so far (they are 30+ as well). I used to think that may be marriage/being in relationship will change them but no. Babies, as well, are not the answer ..

    I also think living alone and taking responsibilty of your life and career is a big part of it. I also have friends (living with parents/married) who simply don’t get amount of responsibility and associated work I have. There is simply a disconnect there and somethimes I find them very immature for their age. How can you not know how to take care of yourself? How can you expect to have company every time you eati don;t get the taboo about eating alone either! What’s the big deal??

  • Reply
    BlueMist
    November 5, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with being mature. In fact I love such people. I think I was always like that. Like you said it is my personality. and I don’t think doing dope or getting drunk is cool thing. I am sure my system thanks me for being tea totaler.
    and like you said I don’t like people who are not mature enough; who fail to understand things; who are not careful to handle money; their life and their words. and surprisingly I am youngest as well. 😀

  • Reply
    The Survivor
    November 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Yeah, it happens…

  • Reply
    Nu
    November 5, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    Umm well actually no… I go through exactly the opposite of this… I turned 29 this b’day and people [read:relatives] started telling me directly and indirectly that I should now behave like a 29 year old and all that stuff.. my take is: I behave in the manner I’m supposed to at a given situation,then why pull my hair for being a kid rest of my time ? If you remember I had done a post on this a month back 🙂

    I don’t know why you think so..and as you have rightly mentioned that there could be plethora of reasons…like your job or may be living on your own..could be few of the things.. also what I feel could be the reason is.. the intellectual level.. may be your intellectual level is high as compared to the others falling your age-group.. I mean see for eg:in most of the things you and me are in synch..[not likes / dislikes,but thoughts] and I’m 29 and you are 25…so you getting what I want to tell you ? 🙂

    And I think in marriage the boy should always be at least a year or two elder to the female..really ! SO if you gonna follow this advice of mine..it suits your taste very well 🙂 You will like a bit elder man 😉

    HUGS PB 🙂

  • Reply
    Footloose
    November 5, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Totally with you there. I’m not surprised because all my life I’ve been the practical level headed one. The only thing that amazes me is that as I grow older, instead of wanting to get married and settle down, I yearn to explore more, learn more, meet more people, see more place. I value freedom above everything. Isn’t that supposed to be an early 20s phase though?

  • Reply
    Solilo
    November 6, 2009 at 12:33 am

    PB, I am 31. Other than the fact that I am a mother to a 5 year old now, nothing much has changed since I was 25-26.

    My thoughts and observations on situation remains the same too.

  • Reply
    Solilo
    November 6, 2009 at 12:35 am

    Are you Capricorn? I had a thing for oldies and thought that guys my age are immature. Never gave them bhaav. 😉 People say it is a Capri trait.

  • Reply
    Tash
    November 6, 2009 at 12:42 am

    I feel like I am going through this, and in this, all the time! And I am 30+! I think it really depends on how you view the world, and your place in in. Thus, the planning three steps ahead (I am very guilty of), and wondering why other poeple are not functioning at the same rate/pace/level.

    I think Archana is spot on about the emotional intellegence. This and perhaps a touch of the quarter life crisis, in terms of reassessing and examining your place in the world? That’s how I rationalise….

  • Reply
    evanescentthoughts
    November 6, 2009 at 1:38 am

    Mine is actually opposite 😀 I feel I am a small kid, when others ask me “when am I getting married”.I get angry 🙂 Wish age could just freeze 🙂 My to-do list in life is longer than life itself, I think.. lol

  • Reply
    G
    November 6, 2009 at 3:48 am

    On the contrary, I go through the opposite. I keep feeling I should act my age. 🙂
    But then there are people like my friends’ parents who think I am very responsible and mature. They would send friends for picnics etc only if I was going. And that would be a lot of pressure. Even family thinks that I am mature etc, but I somehow feel that at 26, I could have done much more than I am doing. So many years gone by without making a difference.
    So basically with me, its a conflicting opinion.
    About you PB, you do such a swell job babe. It must be stressful too. That takes out half your energy I think. Don’t worry, you are doing good. 🙂

  • Reply
    G
    November 6, 2009 at 3:49 am

    Also, at my previous workplace the age group was 21 onwards so at 24 I used to feel senior but at my current workplace the average age is 35-38 which makes me feel like a kid at times.

  • Reply
    Smita
    November 6, 2009 at 4:11 am

    I think for you it is a combination of all the things that you have listed. Staying alone, your job & basically the way you are!!!! With me it has always been the other way around. People think am not mature enough because I keep joking around but when I show my serious side they are surprised!!! And that’s the reason that I have stopped bothering about what others think or say!!!

    Be happy and everything will come to you when it is time be it guys man or boys 😀

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    November 6, 2009 at 9:06 am

    @ Miss Carly: Oh nice to see someone else who is similar! And you’re from Forster? Nice! I went up there last year and it was awesome! Loved the beach! And I prefer RSLs and pubs to nightclubs…

    @ Soin: So how’s the older woman thing working for you? And trust me, I thank my stars every single day that I’m here in Aus. The brief visit to India brought a couple of comments about marriage…funnily enough not by women but men…who were neighbours/family friends.

    @ Mahmud: You’re 23! Whenever I’ve been a ‘lurker’ on your blog I always thought you were 30+. 🙂 I don’t regret being mature and I don’t think you should either. It’s the way we are and I think there’s a lot of positives to it. Had a friend that made me feel guilty for not partying and stuff but I realise I have achieved most of what I wanted to and I’m sure you will/have as well. So yay for maturity! 🙂

  • Reply
    mahmud faisal
    November 6, 2009 at 9:26 am

    I request ‘Lurker’ (LOL I learned the definitions yesterday) PB to be READER to my blog please….

    I am feeling ‘shy’ as you felt me to be ’30+’ OMG.. that is clearly cool for my blogging existence…

    “YAY” for maturity… lolz I did!

  • Reply
    Haddock
    November 6, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    some times its nice to be a little crazy and footloose.
    (no regrets later)

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    November 6, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    @ Archana: Interesting point regarding EI. And I totally believe that maturity and age don’t go hand-in-hand! 😛 Know a lot of people older than me but more immature! And it’s good to know there are others like me out there…

    @ Titaxy: Hmm..maybe being the elder child has a part to play with me too. But you don’t think you are 30? Must be a combination of all things with me…including my job! And probably particularly my job given that some clients are 21 or 22…

    @ Richa: Probably explains why we are able to relate to each others’ posts! Oh…and I don’t see what the problem in eating alone is either! Having said that, I had social anxiety so I could eat alone in a food court but not in a restaurant…until I went for a professional development workshop and then had to do that to face my fear and it was just fine!

    @ Blue Mist: Ooh…same pinch! 🙂 Glad to see others like me too…

    @ The Survivor: Yeah I guess it does…

    @ Nu: Hehe…yeah I remembered your post. And you too have a point in terms of the intellectual thing. I may get into that in another post. But yeah…you and I do have similar thougths despite our age difference! So see…no wonder I think I’m 30! 😛 Oh and re older men…even guys that are sometimes 2-3 yrs older than me are immature! 😛

    @ Footloose: Hmm…re wanting to explore etc, I don’t think it should be just an early 20s thing. I think we can want to do that throughout our lives. I think I’m 30+ but am not ready to get married, have babies and all that. I want to live my life and experience all it has to offer. So I think I see where you are coming from…Then again, given that you have always been practical, you are probably a late-bloomer??? 😛

  • Reply
    For What it s worth
    November 7, 2009 at 9:08 am

    a very nice post. I can relate to what you are saying .Specially being in my mid twenties myself

  • Reply
    perplexed
    November 7, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    I think it has something to do with living alone. I was always the over mature one when I was in a boarding school away from home, I looked down upon my friends for being so kiddish and silly. But the minute I got back home I became the kiddo myself. I am the youngest among all my friends and the youngest in my entire family too… I now, feel 15 while I am actually 22!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    November 7, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    @ Solilo: Yes I’m a Capricorn! 🙂 See…that’s what I kinda mean…you are 31 and I feel at a similar level to you barring the fact that I don’t have any kids…

    @ Tash: Oh…I’m like that too in terms of the planning!!! 😀 You could be on to something with the quarter-life crisis!

    @ Avada: Lol…well, I get the marriage question too but my reasons for not getting married do not include being immature…rather they include me wanting to live my life my way until I choose to find someone and get married…

    @ G: Hehe…you were the responsible one even though you don’t think you are! 🙂 I was the responsible one as well…all the time. Can get annoying trying to be responsible everytime. I wonder if it’s also because I was the older child. And thank you re the comments on my job!

    @ Smita: Lol…you immature person! 😛 Y’know what…the opposite happened to me in my TYBA. A guy who was in my class from FY was surprised to find that I have a sense of humour! He told me that he thought I was always a serious person and he was scared of me! I’m mature but I do reckon I have a great sense of humour as I’m always laughing or smiling. That was a real eye-opener though to me in terms of how I must come across to people who I am not close to…

    @ Mahmud: Will stop being a Lurker! 😛

    @ Haddock: Welcome! I guess it is good…but even when I have fun, it’s done responsibly.

    @ ForWhatItsWorth: Welcome! Nice to see someone else who is similar! 🙂

    @ Perplexed: Can I just say I never realised you were only 22…through your posts you do sound more mature. Maybe you are more mature than you realise. 😛

  • Reply
    tanu
    July 2, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Hi Psych Babbler! Thanx a lot for you comments on my blog article “What’s your mental age?”!
    Do u know, I like your blog profile name “Psych Babbler”!! its cool and funny!

    second, I just love ur writings! feel like reading all that u’have written. You got a fan in me! I will stalking u too!! Do write comments for me too. I also Love comments!!

    keep writing….. u r amazing!!

  • Reply
    tanu
    July 2, 2010 at 8:08 am

    And yes, kind of got lost after reading ur blog!!! I came here to tell u I read your article…… u actually dont sound like a 22 yr old!!! quite mature in ur approach yet fun loving! I like that!

  • Reply
    theconjecturegirl
    April 18, 2012 at 6:19 am

    Ah… Don’t know if this is funny/creepy – I mean, thinking these thoughts almost all the time for a couple months and then finding it having been written out more than 2yrs back. Exact heading – 25 going on 30!

    The feeling of “May be I’d be just as alone all my life”, the being attracted to older men, being the youngest at work, feeling most connected with people a decade older than me, being taken to be older and hence addressed as “Ma’m” by older people, being forced to be agony aunt for real 30yr olds.. I could go on.

    Isn’t it suffocating some times? I’m currently at a stage where I feel like putting on a mask to hide the maturity – just not to feel ‘different’ among peers, and among ppl who expect me to ‘act my age’. But I guess that’s not quite possible.

    But this comments section makes me feel good – I am really not that alone, after all! 🙂

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler™
      April 18, 2012 at 10:56 am

      That’s a funny coincidence CG! It is suffocating with same-aged peers sometimes but I think you can find some people who are this way. If not, well, you might have to get those needs fulfilled at work! And no, you’re definitely not alone!

  • Reply
    30 | Over Cups of Coffee
    January 16, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    […] I woke up this morning with a feeling of excitement. 30. It has a nice ring to it. Everyone has been asking me how I feel. Not very different from 29 given that I have been feeling like I’m in my thirties for a while now. […]

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