Humour NaBloPoMo

Dear Call-Centre Caller

Dear Call-Centre Caller,

There are a few things I would like you to know:

I know you are calling from India. I recognise the slip in your accent. You cannot fool me with that Americanised accent. Especially since you are speaking to Australians.

I would appreciate it if you did not call me at dinner time. Please check the time difference between India and Australia. While it may be 1:30 in the arvo for you, it is time for me to have some peace at home with my dinner.

I do not need insulation for my roof as I live in a unit. I would have thought you would know that from wherever you have the information on all of us. Also, I would have assumed you would have done your research and known what a unit is in Australia when I tell you that.

I do not want to change my mobile phone service. If I did, I would have done it without your phone call. And what is it that you don’t understand about “I am perfectly happy with my Vodafone service”. Since when does this mean you can still explain to me what Telstra has to offer??

On that note, I do not want to change my landline service either. Like I said, if I had wanted to, I would have done so without your prompting badgering.

I am not a rude person. But if you badger me and don’t understand when I say I’m not interested in your offer, I will be fucking rude! I will be assertive.

I would prefer if you didn’t call me, confirm you are speaking to me, and then ask me to state my date of birth to confirm my identity. You called me. I didn’t call you. I will only give my date of birth when I contact agencies such as my bank or the telephone company or my mobile phone provider or electricity company. The point is, I make the calls in those situations.

I don’t care for Foxtel at the moment. TV is crap and mind-numbing. So stop calling me to ask about that. And shouldn’t you have it on your records that I said no the first time?

I am not interested in a free financial assessment. Why would I in my wildest dreams think of trusting someone calling me and offering me a free financial assessment. Do you really think I am that dumb to give you my financial details? And no, I don’t care if you are making home visits and giving the street I live in this “special offer”

I don’t particularly care for giving you my valuable time to answer some questions. I think I have a right to refuse and I do not appreciate you persisting me to answer those questions.

I hope you read these points. And are warned. Because if I hear back from you, rest assured I will not be my usual polite self.


You Might Also Like

No Comments

  • Reply
    Matt Parker
    November 19, 2009 at 9:13 am

    Haha!! 😀 😀

    If the calls persist,just cut off the line rudely ,or just remind them of their paternal ancestry! 😛

    These guys are trained to take No for an answer!
    Like the episode in ‘friends’ where phoebe gets a ‘Tackle Any answer’script for telemarketing!

  • Reply
    Elegant Chic
    November 19, 2009 at 11:36 am


  • Reply
    Pins N Ashes
    November 19, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    :))))) All of us feel the same! a new credit card or some assesement or some policy, or they even call in for work! can u beat that… :)))

  • Reply
    November 19, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    I am sure the guy got the message. lol

  • Reply
    November 19, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    No free credit card, loan offers and free stay in hotels?


  • Reply
    November 19, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    😀 Today a lady called me, “Ma’am Am calling from HDFC Bank”

    I said, “Not interested & disconnected the call”

    i was rude but am not bothered!!

  • Reply
    November 19, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    thank goodness i don’t receive many of such calls..and the ones that i do, i usually do not pick up because i don’t usually answer calls from numbers i don’t recognize…but my mother tells me how bothersome these are..parents have a landline and usually end up receiving many such calls every single day..and if she’s not in her best of her moods, she just hangs up 😛

  • Reply
    The Survivor
    November 19, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Don’t have a Do not call service in Australia?

  • Reply
    A Guy and a Girl
    November 19, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    We here in the states have the now infamous, Do Not Call List. By simply registering my number with this nationwide database, I rarely ever get telemarketers calling me at dinner time.

    And for reference, even I know what a unit is. Silly telemarketers.

  • Reply
    November 19, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    Get a whistle! Blow it LOUDLY down the phone!

    Or just put the phone down and say you’ll be right back. And don’t. lol

    Annoying fcukers!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    November 20, 2009 at 7:53 am

    @ Matt: Oh…thanks for reminding me of that Friends ep…I’d forgotten. I think henceforth I’m going to be rude to them. Don’t really care about their feelings…

    @ EC: Yep!

    @ PNA: They call for work??? WTF? Haven’t done that yet here and I haven’t got any credit card calls either. Yet.

    @ BM: Well, he had better! 😛

    @ G: Lol no…not yet!

    @ Smita: You are going to be my guru…I’m going to try that from now!

    @ Titaxy: I think they target landlines…and I have landline installed. Never get calls on my mobile. If they do, I reckon I will be very very mad!!!

    @ The Survivor: I think we actually do but I know of people who have still been called. Go figure!

    @ AGuyandaGirl: I think we have something of that sort as well but I have to look into it. And good on you for knowing what a unit is! 🙂

    @ Vicki: Lol…I really should try that…tell them someone’s at the door and I’ll BRB and hang up instead… 😛

  • Reply
    November 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    I had read a very funny post telling diff ways to deal with these callers..but cant recall whose blog. Else I would have left u the url ..just to read 🙂

  • Reply
    December 19, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Though i liked what you write 🙂 i don’t know what you have against indians? I have asked you many times the same question it seems. For all you know the backoffice might be in Mexico/Phillipines/Brazil if you know that is 🙂 why so much hatred thrown across all your posts? I feel sad when i see a fellow blogger write something like this. i love everything you write except this.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

error: Content is protected !!