Life lessons

What maketh or breaketh the friendship?

Do you ever think about the friends you have in life…and wonder what it is that resulted in the friendship?

I love my friends…from my school friends to my college friends to my uni friends and work friends. The ones I have made the effort to continue to keep in touch with and who have also put in the effort themselves. But sometimes, I think about some friends and wonder — what is it that we have in common? Why are we friends? Why did we become friends in the first place? How close are we really?

There are times when I reflect on conversations with a few friends in particular and seriously questioning things. I find myself thinking “Are you seriously asking me that?” I wonder if we are friends just because we did psychology and during those times could talk about assignments. Yes I can whinge to them about my day at work…but for some reason, there is nothing else to talk about. And it’s weird. And then I wonder…some years down the track…will we have anything to talk about? Or I wonder…if we didn’t do xyz together, would we have ever managed to be friends given that we are so different? Or that if it weren’t for the two or three other people in the group, we probably would not be friends.

Maybe it’s just me that thinks stuff like this. I guess I am over-thinking.

After all, Sheldon manages to have good friends despite being so different from them! =) [Yes, watching Big Bang Theory at the moment]

But seriously…do you ever wonder about this?

Just want to put this out there…

Until next time,


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  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    Sure PB…we strike a chord with someone just like that and proceed to become friends, but at some or the other point of time in our lives, when we no longer share the same things that brought us together in the first place it is possible to reflect upon the past and wonder why the present is any different, if it is.

    You cannot have it all in one person, can you?

    Guess I’m thinking too much myself! πŸ˜›

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    I think we all have those kind of friends. Should I call them Local friends. Like some of them are restricted to work; or gym or classes. Nothing more than that. Eventually we leave them behind as we move on. That’s natural I think. and oh yes even I keep thinking about these things. πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Hmmm honestly? No!!!

    I prefer living for the moment and u will hardly see me giving soo much thought to anything like this πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Indian Homemaker
    March 29, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    I feel we need more than one friend or two friends. Some friends are great for talking about a bad day, some others to watch movies with, and a few others are great to go shopping with… some are our confidantes, some use us as sounding boards… I have around 10-11 best friends (maybe more) – Met some in school (one reads my blog too), then one in college, some became friends because our kids were born at the same time, some were my kids’ friends’ parents’ . Some while volunteering somewhere, some at the club.
    I wrote a post about this here,

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Hmmm…never thought about it so much πŸ™‚ If I’ve been friends with someone for years, then I guess I just take it for granted whatever it is that keeps the bond strong. Haven’t spent any time pondering why we are friends πŸ˜€

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    you are right in thinking about why you are friends with a so and happens..I mean not that I too think about it this way but yes often I find myself questioning as to what will I talk to ‘that’ friend when we meet…or when we are on phone…and on the other hand there are these friends of whom you need to just hear their voice and the conversation starts…you don’t think about what to talk and what not to talk…that’s when the compartmentalisation comes into picture..that is why we have certain best friends and good friends and acquaintances πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    well I think there are different level of friendship and hence, different kind of friends.

    Some are close friends with whom you talk almost every day and share almost each and every day of you life. These friends will laugh, cry and will get angry for you and with you. They are so close to you that you can’t tell exactly what clicks between two of you except that anything happens and you need to get on the phone with them. They form your support system.

    Then some are social friends with whom you enjoy going out, have a common interest with them and hence the friendship. Others are wavelength matching friends whom you met at random but for some reason you talk the same language. Even though you don’t share your life history with them, still you will seek them out in a crowd as it’s enjoyable to talk to them. and yes, circumstances make such friends and unless the effort is made on both side, these kinds of friendship will fall apart pretty quickly. Yet if you meet them after some time, it will be easier to talk to them than the classmates/acquaintances you had during the same time period of your life.

    Well that’s my two cents πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    Lovely post PB πŸ™‚ quite a thot provokin one !! I know a lot of times I have failed to do my bit…but thankfully I have lovely frens around touchwood..who know me “Who I am” and have accpeted me the way I am…

    For sure, my frens know that I am always thr fr them whenever they wud need me

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    oh yes! I wonder about this a lot..

    Like you said often friendships born in classrooms are just that – hovering somewhere between ‘classmates’ and ‘friends’.I have met such ‘friends’ recently after almost a decade and I find there is nothing common between us anymore. Its like meeting a stranger!! I can’t believe we were good chums in school or college! I wonder like you, what made us become friends?

  • Reply
    March 29, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    I’ve definately thought about it – its a uniquely human thing to do, i think.
    Also, i dont know how anybody can be friends with Sheldon ( Leonard on the other hand is a nerd-spunk! )

  • Reply
    March 30, 2010 at 3:20 am

    I think with some uni friends you are often just friends with them because of the subjects you do with them. No I no longer have uni subjects my circle of friends has definently shrunk!

  • Reply
    Lakshmi Rajan
    March 30, 2010 at 6:19 am

    I think natural friendship occurs due to an common under current we may not be aware of …. there might be 40-50 co students but still we may be only friendly in true sense with couple of them, there might be 1000 students in the school/college but still we might get friends with someone from another class… why? There might be 100s of collegues but still u might find comfy with only certain people? why? I feel friendship is formed through a common undercurrent between different personalities.

    I don’t meet my school friends often thesedays and they are spread across different parts but when we catch up the old spark jus ignites … the spark does not die off coz of barriers like distance and silent periods inbetween… It just ignites when we meet/talk …. why?

  • Reply
    July 29, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    I think Sheldon has the friends he has not because of commonalities but because they are there despite the lack of it πŸ™‚
    But coming back to your post, I agree completely and have reflected similarly on my gamut of friends. And believe me they come in all shapes πŸ™‚
    I do have a defined set of friends left now into my 30’s – close friends (these are the ones in my inner circle), good friends (these are the ones who are not the 2 AM frnds but come pretty close), old frnds (now almost like acquaintances as we have all moved on).
    Out of these, like you said only the ones who make an effort themselves survived the test of times and stayed close. The rest drifted away and some fell apart. I wonder about the ones who fell apart and drifted away and how we were friends to begin with.. I really had very little in common with them and if not for the so called ‘being there at that time’ phenomenon, we may not have become friends in the. first place.

    So yeah, its not uncommon to wonder along those lines πŸ™‚

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