Soapbox Issues

Acts of Bullying

I read last week about this 18 year old boy, Tyler Clementi in the US committing suicide last week after a sex video featuring him without his permission was broadcast online. Tyler’s roommate at uni, Dharun Ravi and a friend, Molly Wei managed to stream a live video via their webcam of Tyler with another male. He did realise that he was spied upon eventually and made the sad decision of ending his life. Both the bullies have been charged with invasion of privacy although there are calls for manslaughter charges as well as hate-crime charges. Tyler jumped off a bridge and ended his life.

I feel for Tyler. And I fail to comprehend what kind of people think it’s actually funny to broadcast someone’s private affairs to the rest of the world. You have got to be really really sick in the head. It’s not just a prank gone wrong. It was planned and executed. To embarrass the young man. And possibly take a cheap shot at his sexual orientation. Personally, I think the bullies do deserve charges of manslaughter or at least something about abetting a suicide. The kid was 18! He had his entire life ahead of him. And just because his roommate didn’t agree with his sexual orientation doesn’t give anyone the right to demean him.

Bullying of any form can be horrible. Bullying doesn’t just involve calling someone names once or beating someone up once. It is constant. It occurs day in and day out. Once upon a time bullying was probably only at school. A child felt safe upon going home. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the internet and cyberspace, home isn’t a safe environment any longer. Unless one is a hermit. Kids and teens get bullied online — on facebook, bebo, twitter or even through blogs. Lewd pictures get posted online. Lewd or embarrassing videos are posted on youtube. Someone’s mobile number can be broadcast with the message saying “call me, I give free blow jobs” [I had a client who this last thing was done to] It’s insane. And it really makes you question whether anyone under 21 should be allowed to even use technology when they don’t have the capacity to use their prefrontal cortex!!! Bullying has reached new heights these days with the growth in technology. And I for one am glad I am not a school-going student in this day and age!

I do hope the case results in convictions of some form. And time in gaol. Only then are people going to learn that you cannot get away with prejudicial acts of bullying. It will set a precedent for any other cases in future. And Tyler’s death will not have been in vain.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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No Comments

  • Reply
    Sanchit goyal
    October 4, 2010 at 10:36 am

    I agree with you on most points.bullying really is destroying some lives. Though what I dint like about the article was how you categorised cyber bullying as a issue of people under 21!! We have seen sensible young people and there have been news of husbands making fake profile of their wives after minor fights. The problem is with the people and their thinking and not with a particular age group as such!

  • Reply
    jake
    October 4, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Well said , I also read about the story last week. But although I was pissed at the morans who taped Tyler, I was upset that the kid didn’t think twice before taking his life over it.

    I can totally relate how the guy must have felt, bullying is not exactly a concept thats alien to me. But then I guess its always easy to judge..

  • Reply
    Abha Midha
    October 4, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    HI…. this is my first comment in your blog. I dont know ur name… hope you will give a clue:)

    Yes bullying is a serious matter . it starts in school and takes the devilish form of raging in college. Internet has its pros and cons. While on one hand it has broken boundaries the world over it has invaded our privacy too. It is good that he culprits are going to be charged so that it becomes a benchmark for our times

  • Reply
    Makk
    October 4, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Once upon a time bullying was probably only at school.

    I think it was never so.

    anyway a good post on a needed topic.

  • Reply
    jake
    October 4, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    hi … hope you didn’t mind the comment …i’m Jake by the way ..happened to run into your blog a couple of days ago … really like it πŸ™‚ …

  • Reply
    pallavi
    October 4, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    That is just so sad… seriously, the guys who taped and put this up on the internet must be real wierdos. They deserve more punishment than just 5 years.

  • Reply
    Ms Smack
    October 4, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    This case has also struck a sad nerve with me. Great post.

    xx

  • Reply
    Susan Deborah
    October 5, 2010 at 4:20 am

    Very sad indeed. Sometimes ignorance is bliss; Ignorance of technology and other things. I guess there is a strange sense of self-worth when guys play a prank by spying into people’s privacy. Candid camera started this as a nation’s craze and it has been going on in various forms.
    My heart goes out to Tyler’s family and friends. These days you can’t even say which friend will do what!

    Have a great day, PB.

    Joy always,
    Susan

  • Reply
    Lazy Pineapple
    October 5, 2010 at 5:40 am

    oh man…this is horrible…bullying of any kind is awful. Its a growing menace in India too..especially ragging in colleges which is a form of bullying. Stringent laws need to be put in place…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    October 5, 2010 at 9:23 am

    @ Sanchit: I do apologise for overgeneralising about under 21s…but it is a fact that their prefrontal cortex is not developed…until about 21-23 years. I understand however there are many sensible and mature under 21s but I think they are in the minority. I guess most of it was from my experience with children and adolescents.

    @ Jake: Welcome to my blog! I must say it is disappointing that Tyler decided to end his life but it seems like it was a hopeless and impulsive act. Some people feel that sense of hopelessness that there is no point in living that they do drive themselves to that extreme. Do keep visiting Jake and thanks for commenting…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    October 5, 2010 at 9:38 am

    @ Abha: Welcome and thanks for delurking! πŸ™‚ Sorry to disappoint you but my name continues to be Psych Babbler around Blogosphere πŸ™‚ Ragging in college…don’t even get me started on that one! I was lucky that in my college there was no such thing and hence college years were great. But this wasn’t the case with other school friends and the sad thing was some of them had the mentality that “I got ragged so I will rag the juniors”. I never understood that. Hoping a conviction in this case will set a benchmark across the world. Do keep visiting! πŸ™‚

    @ Makk: I was trying to say that kids never got bullied at home — home was the safe place…the haven from being bullied mainly at school. Hope you have been well.

  • Reply
    Smitha
    October 5, 2010 at 9:39 am

    That was so sad. I can’t understand what kind of ‘fun’ includes violating somebody else’s privacy and doing something so nasty! It is bullying of the worst order. Tyler must have felt so humiliated that he ended up taking his life..

    His tormentors need to be brought to justice. Only then will they understand the impact of what they did..

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    October 5, 2010 at 9:49 am

    @ Pallavi: I agree with you…but even if they can get the 5 years, it will be a great thing! These people have to be really messed up in the head to think this was somehow funny, eh??

    @ Ms Smack: Thanks…it really saddened me the very day I read it but I couldn’t get myself to post until yesterday for some reason…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    October 5, 2010 at 9:57 am

    @ Susan: It has to be that eh? That one person’s self worth is increased by ridiculing another or by putting another down. Reality tv, candid camera…all to blame for the invasion of privacy or the lack of boundaries around people’s lives!

    @ LP: Good to see you after so long! πŸ™‚ Ragging…ugh. I responded to Abha about that and it is just another way of saying bullying I guess. Stupid thing imo that needs to be dealt with severely…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    October 5, 2010 at 10:06 am

    @ Smitha: I don’t understand it either. People must have something wrong upstairs to find this kind of humiliation of other people funny. To Tyler, it must have seemed like it was the end of the world…that this would follow him for the rest of his life. And who knows? It might have. And it seems like he did what he thought best. To end his life. But yeah, the perpetrators definitely need harsh consequences to prevent more and more people from invading a peson’s privacy in this manner…

  • Reply
    Richa
    October 5, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Someone’s mobile number can be broadcast with the message saying “call me, I give free blow jobs” [I had a client who this last thing was done to]

    Believe it or not, something similar happened to me in India. It started with a wrong number which I picked and disconnected when I realized its a wrong number (I think that call lasted 5 secs). The guy on the other end kept calling back but I never picked up. All of sudden i started getting these calls and text from strangers (fairly inappropriate ones). I stopped picking calls if I didn’t know the number. For some reason, one of them, finally texted me saying that my number is being circulated among guys and very inappropriate things are being said about me (even though none of them knew me).He advised that I should change my number. I was leaving the country in a month so I didn’t bother. But I certainly understand how bad that can feel.

    And it must be worse if such a thing is circulated among your own social circle.

    I have been feeling really bad about these recent suicides. Though I don’t think anything will be done to stop bullying in schools. For some reason the adults in powerful positions, who can change these tings, choose not to take action.

  • Reply
    The cost of enterprise mobility solutions
    October 6, 2010 at 7:08 am

    Bullying is now severely prevailing in colleges,,

  • Reply
    Reema
    October 6, 2010 at 8:28 am

    I feel scared thinking of bringing up kids in such social conditions!! πŸ™ where are we headed?

  • Reply
    Bikramjit
    October 6, 2010 at 10:21 am

    very sad situation.. bullying is very bad , I can say it cause I lived with it in my schooling days and its not nice .. I am lucky i had some friends, and i maanged ot go through it

    bullying defintely changes ones psyche a lot and it is very harmful

    a VERY VERY harsh punishment shud be given its a murder in my eyes …

    Bikram’s Blog

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    October 6, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    Very very sad situation this one. So brutal. And I hear similar bullying news so often here on the news…I can only hope there is something being done…too bad otherwise.

  • Reply
    Shalet Jimmy
    October 7, 2010 at 7:55 am

    It’s absolutely sad that ‘privacy’ has vanished into thin air. In my country ragging students has become a regular affair and the deaths that’s been causing due to it are mounting. Parents who send their children to colleges, now a days even schools are in deep worries. The society has almost shoved fellow feelings to the back burner.Children now a days are also not far behind in it.

  • Reply
    Journomuse
    October 9, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    A good post, PB…In fact, In fact, there is a quote which I read somewhere “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” I guess bullying has to come into a far worse category…

  • Reply
    Roshan
    October 12, 2010 at 3:38 am

    A good read on a sad subject. Bullies should know better. Those two deserve severe sentences in jail.

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    December 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Very very sad situation this one. So brutal. And I hear similar bullying news so often here on the news…I can only hope there is something being done…too bad otherwise.

  • Reply
    Richa
    December 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Someone’s mobile number can be broadcast with the message saying “call me, I give free blow jobs” [I had a client who this last thing was done to]

    Believe it or not, something similar happened to me in India. It started with a wrong number which I picked and disconnected when I realized its a wrong number (I think that call lasted 5 secs). The guy on the other end kept calling back but I never picked up. All of sudden i started getting these calls and text from strangers (fairly inappropriate ones). I stopped picking calls if I didn’t know the number. For some reason, one of them, finally texted me saying that my number is being circulated among guys and very inappropriate things are being said about me (even though none of them knew me).He advised that I should change my number. I was leaving the country in a month so I didn’t bother. But I certainly understand how bad that can feel.

    And it must be worse if such a thing is circulated among your own social circle.

    I have been feeling really bad about these recent suicides. Though I don’t think anything will be done to stop bullying in schools. For some reason the adults in powerful positions, who can change these tings, choose not to take action.

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    December 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

    @ Abha: Welcome and thanks for delurking! πŸ™‚ Sorry to disappoint you but my name continues to be Psych Babbler around Blogosphere πŸ™‚ Ragging in college…don’t even get me started on that one! I was lucky that in my college there was no such thing and hence college years were great. But this wasn’t the case with other school friends and the sad thing was some of them had the mentality that “I got ragged so I will rag the juniors”. I never understood that. Hoping a conviction in this case will set a benchmark across the world. Do keep visiting! πŸ™‚

    @ Makk: I was trying to say that kids never got bullied at home — home was the safe place…the haven from being bullied mainly at school. Hope you have been well.

  • Reply
    Ms Smack
    December 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

    This case has also struck a sad nerve with me. Great post.

    xx

  • Reply
    jake
    December 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Well said , I also read about the story last week. But although I was pissed at the morans who taped Tyler, I was upset that the kid didn’t think twice before taking his life over it.

    I can totally relate how the guy must have felt, bullying is not exactly a concept thats alien to me. But then I guess its always easy to judge..

  • Reply
    Sanchit goyal
    December 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

    I agree with you on most points.bullying really is destroying some lives. Though what I dint like about the article was how you categorised cyber bullying as a issue of people under 21!! We have seen sensible young people and there have been news of husbands making fake profile of their wives after minor fights. The problem is with the people and their thinking and not with a particular age group as such!

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