Life

Decisions, Decisions…

 
How do you know if you are making the right decision before making it?

This was asked by a friend of mine when I was back in India in June this year.

My answer to her was “you never know“. And that’s the truth, isn’t it? After all, unless and until you see the outcomes of a decision that has been made, you will never know whether it was good or bad. And to be honest, even then, who is to say?

For example, I am currently struggling with a number of things. I think I want to start some private practice work one day a week. I have checked out a room and am yet to make a decision whether to go ahead or not. The reason being I don’t know how it will pan out. Will I go months without any referrals and yet have to pay for the rent of the room? What if the area I am looking at is not ideal for private child and adolescent work? Would it be better to try in an area that is more upper class? Simulatenously, I am also wondering whether to study a doctorate in clinical psychology instead. [No, not a PhD but a DPsych]. But even that comes with a lot of ‘what ifs’. I do not want to reduce my working days. Actually, make that I cannot afford to do that. And given that there is only one university in the whole of Australia that offers this degree via distance education, makes the decision even harder.

So with these decisions, I will never know whether they are right or wrong until I decide to actually make one. The private practice decision could go any way. I could end up losing money. Or I could end up making money. Further study could be good for the future. Or they may just change the current two-tier pay system and it may not have an impact.

With some decisions in my life, I have usually made pros and cons lists to help make a decision. Even then, one still takes a risk. Unless and until we know exactly what the future holds, there is always a risk in any decision we take.

In hindsight, we realise whether we made a good decision or not. But even with that, sometimes a supposed bad decision can teach us a lot. Or a bad decision can lead us somewhere else. Through making a ‘bad’ decision, we could meet people who might help us later. We could even grow ourselves and obtain qualities that will be useful in later life.

For instance, there was a friend I had back in India who can best be described as a fair-weather friend. She hung out with me in college until she got popular and then only called me everytime she wanted to brag and feel better about herself or if she wanted to complain about someone else. She would cancel plans on me if something better came up. Yes, I should have ended the relationship long before as I could see she was taking advantage of me. But I didn’t. The friendship ended only after I moved here to Australia. But what that taught me was to be assertive. And when I noticed a close friend J here cancelling on me a fair few times, rather than stew about it, I spoke to her about it. Turns out, she hadn’t realised it and apologised and we are strong as ever. Plus, she hasn’t cancelled on me since I spoke to her.

So yes, while it is hard to make decisions as they involve a certain amount of risk every single time, we can’t avoid that. We could probably stagnate in our lives, never ever taking a risk, but that too is a decision.

It is scary. There is no doubt about that. And only time will tell whether it was worthwhile or not.

Until then, we all have to live.

And as for now, I still have to try and make my decision regarding what I mentioned earlier.

Should I or shouldn’t I? That is the question.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • Reply
    Comfy
    September 11, 2011 at 4:02 am

    I am sure you will weigh the pros and cons before you make up your mind but I would say go for that room and start out . That is the best way to find out and you will learn and grow stronger from the experience for sure. 
    All the best with whatever you decide.

  • Reply
    Comfy
    September 11, 2011 at 4:02 am

    I am sure you will weigh the pros and cons before you make up your mind but I would say go for that room and start out . That is the best way to find out and you will learn and grow stronger from the experience for sure. 
    All the best with whatever you decide.

  • Reply
    Priyanka Victor
    September 11, 2011 at 4:35 am

    I’m almost phobic of failure. I know, it’s a sign of weakness but as a result of this fear I find it really, extremely hard to take decisions, big or small. I always consult with two, three people, even if it’s a teeny matter of buying a kurta. I worry too much if it’s the right thing to do or if my decision was an epic fail. Till now it has been so-so, I have managed because I always had my mother to defer to but I seriously need to get a handle on it if I want to get somewhere in life.

    Decisions = suck:(

    And if at all you decide to open shop, you have my prayers and good wishes in it being a grand success:)

  • Reply
    Priyanka Victor
    September 11, 2011 at 4:35 am

    I’m almost phobic of failure. I know, it’s a sign of weakness but as a result of this fear I find it really, extremely hard to take decisions, big or small. I always consult with two, three people, even if it’s a teeny matter of buying a kurta. I worry too much if it’s the right thing to do or if my decision was an epic fail. Till now it has been so-so, I have managed because I always had my mother to defer to but I seriously need to get a handle on it if I want to get somewhere in life.

    Decisions = suck:(

    And if at all you decide to open shop, you have my prayers and good wishes in it being a grand success:)

  • Reply
    Prats
    September 11, 2011 at 5:17 am

    Interesting and quite true… We can never be sure off the outcomes. But then they have to be made and all we can do is make them using the best possible information and world view we have and then stick to them working hard to make them a good or the better decisions. Isn’t it?

  • Reply
    Prats
    September 11, 2011 at 5:17 am

    Interesting and quite true… We can never be sure off the outcomes. But then they have to be made and all we can do is make them using the best possible information and world view we have and then stick to them working hard to make them a good or the better decisions. Isn’t it?

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 11, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Thanks Comfy…I guess yeah, the ultimate decision is how much money am I willing to risk I suppose. I am sure it will be a great learning curve no matter how it works out.

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 11, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Thanks Comfy…I guess yeah, the ultimate decision is how much money am I willing to risk I suppose. I am sure it will be a great learning curve no matter how it works out.

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 11, 2011 at 10:05 am

    Ah, fear of failure. Hmm, I am not that phobic. I just don’t want to lose money at this stage. You’re right though…if you want to get somewhere in life, you may have to start relying on your own decision making skills. I used to be kinda similar…needed others’ approval or thoughts on a decision but I think after my 10th I started realising I was more responsible and could make my own decisions. One of those of course was taking up Arts after hearing almost every one tell me to do Science (especially as I had the marks for the latter). You make mistakes but you always learn. Thanks for the best wishes…and I wish you the same in making decisions! 🙂

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 11, 2011 at 10:05 am

    Ah, fear of failure. Hmm, I am not that phobic. I just don’t want to lose money at this stage. You’re right though…if you want to get somewhere in life, you may have to start relying on your own decision making skills. I used to be kinda similar…needed others’ approval or thoughts on a decision but I think after my 10th I started realising I was more responsible and could make my own decisions. One of those of course was taking up Arts after hearing almost every one tell me to do Science (especially as I had the marks for the latter). You make mistakes but you always learn. Thanks for the best wishes…and I wish you the same in making decisions! 🙂

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 11, 2011 at 10:05 am

    You’re right…the best we can do is make informed decisions and then try our best at those…agree with you there!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 11, 2011 at 10:05 am

    You’re right…the best we can do is make informed decisions and then try our best at those…agree with you there!

  • Reply
    Bikram
    September 11, 2011 at 10:17 am

    YEs decisions are tough but what i do is go through the pro’s and cons and then decide and g ofor it .. But go with full heart and give it your best .. IF it does not go right then have the heart to accept it and try something else ..

    All the best ..
    Bikram’s

  • Reply
    Bikram
    September 11, 2011 at 10:17 am

    YEs decisions are tough but what i do is go through the pro’s and cons and then decide and g ofor it .. But go with full heart and give it your best .. IF it does not go right then have the heart to accept it and try something else ..

    All the best ..
    Bikram’s

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Its funny, I’ve been toiling with a similar decision for the past few weeks. Its one of those ones where its really hard to choose because both choices seem to weigh equal as far as pros and cons are concerned. The only thing that irritates me is one of the choices have a certain level of risk involved and can lead to failure and I’m scared of it, scared of it because I can’t stand the though of failing and THAT pisses me off. I can still remember days when I was 13 when I didn’t care about failing a exam or making a fool of myself, somehow it seems like fear grew with time. I usually can get over it by remembering that the glass is not only half full, but also half empty, but it doesn’t always work, not when there is money involved in the decision

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Its funny, I’ve been toiling with a similar decision for the past few weeks. Its one of those ones where its really hard to choose because both choices seem to weigh equal as far as pros and cons are concerned. The only thing that irritates me is one of the choices have a certain level of risk involved and can lead to failure and I’m scared of it, scared of it because I can’t stand the though of failing and THAT pisses me off. I can still remember days when I was 13 when I didn’t care about failing a exam or making a fool of myself, somehow it seems like fear grew with time. I usually can get over it by remembering that the glass is not only half full, but also half empty, but it doesn’t always work, not when there is money involved in the decision

  • Reply
    mahmud faisal
    September 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    PB, at first I should tell you that I love your blog for its look. a wonderful wonderful one! a different feeling as a blog!

    About decision taking. You know what, I have been seriously seriously suffering in this problem and I am stuck for a good decision for more than 6 months. I haven’t decided yet where should I go? To keep me in software development industry or to go abroad for studies. A real wonder. My style is, while I am in dilemma, I take time until I am not bound to take decision. While I am bound, I try to think for a prediction about the decision, for a year or the two or three years later what will be the situation — then I decide. I confirm that the decision I am taking is the best right now from my own knowledge and capabilities and I will never repent if it is wrong or whatsoever. 🙂

    Take care. I have been going through a real hectic life in a hectic city. Rarely I could sit for blogging, for writing or reading both. keep in touch 🙂

  • Reply
    mahmud faisal
    September 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    PB, at first I should tell you that I love your blog for its look. a wonderful wonderful one! a different feeling as a blog!

    About decision taking. You know what, I have been seriously seriously suffering in this problem and I am stuck for a good decision for more than 6 months. I haven’t decided yet where should I go? To keep me in software development industry or to go abroad for studies. A real wonder. My style is, while I am in dilemma, I take time until I am not bound to take decision. While I am bound, I try to think for a prediction about the decision, for a year or the two or three years later what will be the situation — then I decide. I confirm that the decision I am taking is the best right now from my own knowledge and capabilities and I will never repent if it is wrong or whatsoever. 🙂

    Take care. I have been going through a real hectic life in a hectic city. Rarely I could sit for blogging, for writing or reading both. keep in touch 🙂

  • Reply
    Vishnu
    September 11, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    I think weighing the risks of our decisions and minimizing the risks is the way to make difficult decisions. Also, listening to our hearts usually will guide us to the right decision. In your very specific example, I would get an office (if you can find one) that allows you to have daily rentals so you’re booking it only if you have an appointment that day. A lot of these offices are used by other types of businesses – not sure if practical for your industry. Good luck!

  • Reply
    Vishnu
    September 11, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    I think weighing the risks of our decisions and minimizing the risks is the way to make difficult decisions. Also, listening to our hearts usually will guide us to the right decision. In your very specific example, I would get an office (if you can find one) that allows you to have daily rentals so you’re booking it only if you have an appointment that day. A lot of these offices are used by other types of businesses – not sure if practical for your industry. Good luck!

  • Reply
    Prathama Raghavan
    September 12, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Difficult decisions to make! I feel your dilemma 🙂

    I have gone through some tough ones too… I am not sure I always made the right decisions but as you said have mostly learnt something worthwhile from most decisions!

    Good luck and Wishing you the best in everything that is to come.

  • Reply
    Prathama Raghavan
    September 12, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Difficult decisions to make! I feel your dilemma 🙂

    I have gone through some tough ones too… I am not sure I always made the right decisions but as you said have mostly learnt something worthwhile from most decisions!

    Good luck and Wishing you the best in everything that is to come.

  • Reply
    maddie
    September 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    So true PB. We don’t really know whether the decisions we have taken are right or wrong until we bear the consequences of it. Most of the times, it works out for the best and at other times, we always learn something valuable from the experience that makes us a better person. We don’t know what the future holds for us but we can always make rational decisions with our knowledge and abilities and then have the faith in ourselves to hope that the outcome is positive. 🙂 All the best!

  • Reply
    maddie
    September 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    So true PB. We don’t really know whether the decisions we have taken are right or wrong until we bear the consequences of it. Most of the times, it works out for the best and at other times, we always learn something valuable from the experience that makes us a better person. We don’t know what the future holds for us but we can always make rational decisions with our knowledge and abilities and then have the faith in ourselves to hope that the outcome is positive. 🙂 All the best!

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    September 12, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    I agree…we’ll never know if something will work or not. All we can do is make an informed decision and work towards what we aim for. It might work, it might now…but we will at least know that we did what we were supposed to and gave it 100% 🙂

    Good luck to you, PB, whatever you decide to do 🙂

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    September 12, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    I agree…we’ll never know if something will work or not. All we can do is make an informed decision and work towards what we aim for. It might work, it might now…but we will at least know that we did what we were supposed to and gave it 100% 🙂

    Good luck to you, PB, whatever you decide to do 🙂

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    That’s the fact though isn’t it Bikram…to be able to accept the failure and move on. I don’t know if I am ok with losing money…could probably deal with the failure aspect but unsure about the money bit!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    That’s the fact though isn’t it Bikram…to be able to accept the failure and move on. I don’t know if I am ok with losing money…could probably deal with the failure aspect but unsure about the money bit!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    Exactly Rays! Something seemingly right now may not be the case in another 5 years. Circumstances change. The system changes. We change. It’s almost like nothing is ever right or wrong then because of the changes in life!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    Exactly Rays! Something seemingly right now may not be the case in another 5 years. Circumstances change. The system changes. We change. It’s almost like nothing is ever right or wrong then because of the changes in life!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    I agree with you…in terms of money being involved in a decision. I would be okay with trying, failing and moving on. But the thought of losing money scares me. Espcially as I can’t afford to lose money! It would be different if I were a millionaire or even if I had a back up like moving in with my parents for a short while to save! And I so know what you mean when the pros and cons are almost equal! In the end, for me it seems to have come down to how much money am I willing to risk!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    I agree with you…in terms of money being involved in a decision. I would be okay with trying, failing and moving on. But the thought of losing money scares me. Espcially as I can’t afford to lose money! It would be different if I were a millionaire or even if I had a back up like moving in with my parents for a short while to save! And I so know what you mean when the pros and cons are almost equal! In the end, for me it seems to have come down to how much money am I willing to risk!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Mahmud…long time, no see on this space! Thanks for the lovely comment about the blog! Sounds like you are stuck at the moment too re making a decision. I was in a similar place 7 years ago…and I remember having Plans A, B and C because I was so anxious about things going wrong and not working out. Hope work is going well. And do keep blogging even if it is occasionally.

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Mahmud…long time, no see on this space! Thanks for the lovely comment about the blog! Sounds like you are stuck at the moment too re making a decision. I was in a similar place 7 years ago…and I remember having Plans A, B and C because I was so anxious about things going wrong and not working out. Hope work is going well. And do keep blogging even if it is occasionally.

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    By the way Jake, good luck with whatever decision you take! Hope it all works out….

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    By the way Jake, good luck with whatever decision you take! Hope it all works out….

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Vishnu, I’m not a person who relies too much on my heart as it hasn’t really helped me make good decisions! 😛 My head when clear, tends to do a better job. And you know what, I did start thinking about what you spoke about just after writing my post. They are called sessional rooms here and you pay only when you have an appointment. However, they are fewer than whole rooms to rent but I am leaning towards keeping an eye out for those rather than renting a room. It would be practical as it helps network and set up and once I am sure of referral networks, to then lease a whole room! Thanks for the advice and best wishes…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Vishnu, I’m not a person who relies too much on my heart as it hasn’t really helped me make good decisions! 😛 My head when clear, tends to do a better job. And you know what, I did start thinking about what you spoke about just after writing my post. They are called sessional rooms here and you pay only when you have an appointment. However, they are fewer than whole rooms to rent but I am leaning towards keeping an eye out for those rather than renting a room. It would be practical as it helps network and set up and once I am sure of referral networks, to then lease a whole room! Thanks for the advice and best wishes…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Thanks Prathama! There is no doubt we learn from our decisions…even if it’s what not to do next time around! 😛

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Thanks Prathama! There is no doubt we learn from our decisions…even if it’s what not to do next time around! 😛

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Maddie, I do like the platitude that ‘everything happens for a reason’ (though it can piss me off when I’m down and someone says it to me) but it’s true as we learn even from our worst decisions! I guess in the present, it’s all about making an informed decision. And then working hard and seeing what happens…Thanks for the wishes…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Maddie, I do like the platitude that ‘everything happens for a reason’ (though it can piss me off when I’m down and someone says it to me) but it’s true as we learn even from our worst decisions! I guess in the present, it’s all about making an informed decision. And then working hard and seeing what happens…Thanks for the wishes…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Lol! I just read your comment T after replying to Maddie’s comment and it looks like I’ve copy-pasted yours! 😀 I totally agree about the informed decision right now and then working hard on that. Thanks for the best wishes T…

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 12, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Lol! I just read your comment T after replying to Maddie’s comment and it looks like I’ve copy-pasted yours! 😀 I totally agree about the informed decision right now and then working hard on that. Thanks for the best wishes T…

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 12, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Its one of things I hate about all economic systems , be it capitalist or socialist in the end we are all constrained by what we can/cannot do in life by wealth. As far as the decision is concerned my luck it probably never will, every time I hope for the best god pulls out his ace card and goes “tantada !!”.. lol .. but yeah thanks hope it all works out. even if it doesn’t its not the end of the world, if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 12, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Its one of things I hate about all economic systems , be it capitalist or socialist in the end we are all constrained by what we can/cannot do in life by wealth. As far as the decision is concerned my luck it probably never will, every time I hope for the best god pulls out his ace card and goes “tantada !!”.. lol .. but yeah thanks hope it all works out. even if it doesn’t its not the end of the world, if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.

  • Reply
    Bloomingwiltinglily
    September 13, 2011 at 10:42 am

    You know what.. its like i am reading my own blog.. I am also facing the same problem. I am a chartered accountant working under a senior. i also want to start my independent practice.. but initial and recurring expenses are bothering me as i don’t have that much work in hand which can justify the cost moreover there is no certainty whether I continue to get good works.. 

  • Reply
    Bloomingwiltinglily
    September 13, 2011 at 10:42 am

    You know what.. its like i am reading my own blog.. I am also facing the same problem. I am a chartered accountant working under a senior. i also want to start my independent practice.. but initial and recurring expenses are bothering me as i don’t have that much work in hand which can justify the cost moreover there is no certainty whether I continue to get good works.. 

  • Reply
    nidsitis
    September 13, 2011 at 11:42 am

    I really suck at making decisions. Always question things and then wonder if it was the right thing. However, I have learnt that there comes a time when you just have to make the decision. At that time, I just wish you clarity of thought. 🙂 I have come to realise that its the most difficult to have yet the most important. 🙂 All the best 🙂

  • Reply
    nidsitis
    September 13, 2011 at 11:42 am

    I really suck at making decisions. Always question things and then wonder if it was the right thing. However, I have learnt that there comes a time when you just have to make the decision. At that time, I just wish you clarity of thought. 🙂 I have come to realise that its the most difficult to have yet the most important. 🙂 All the best 🙂

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 13, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I agree…wealth defines a lot. Lol at what you say about your luck…someone close to me thinks god is having a laugh at them at the moment because of the shit luck they seem to be having the past few months around the whole private work versus not private work thing. As you said though, it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. It sucks. But we are still alive!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 13, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I agree…wealth defines a lot. Lol at what you say about your luck…someone close to me thinks god is having a laugh at them at the moment because of the shit luck they seem to be having the past few months around the whole private work versus not private work thing. As you said though, it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. It sucks. But we are still alive!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 13, 2011 at 11:47 am

    I so get what you are saying Bloomingwiltinglily…I wish you all the luck in whatever you decide!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 13, 2011 at 11:47 am

    I so get what you are saying Bloomingwiltinglily…I wish you all the luck in whatever you decide!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 13, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Thanks Nids…I think for most of us, it’s in our nature to constantly question every single aspect of a decision being made…but yeah, in the end, we just have to take the plunge!

  • Reply
    Psych Babbler
    September 13, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Thanks Nids…I think for most of us, it’s in our nature to constantly question every single aspect of a decision being made…but yeah, in the end, we just have to take the plunge!

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 13, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    🙂 …yeah although I’m agnostic I still love making jokes like that ..my mom hates it when, she’s a good conservative catholic who believes god should not be questioned.

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 13, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    🙂 …yeah although I’m agnostic I still love making jokes like that ..my mom hates it when, she’s a good conservative catholic who believes god should not be questioned.

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    forgot to say ..good luck with your decision too 🙂 ……ok thats the best i’ve got, I don’t know squat about how things work when you are a physiologist so unfortunately I won’t able to offer you any of my highly advanced intellect on the topic 😛

  • Reply
    Jake
    September 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    forgot to say ..good luck with your decision too 🙂 ……ok thats the best i’ve got, I don’t know squat about how things work when you are a physiologist so unfortunately I won’t able to offer you any of my highly advanced intellect on the topic 😛

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