Life lessons

The impact of technology on relationships

This is a sponsored post for EHarmony Australia

“What will he say today, I wonder.  I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words:  You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart.  I have mail.  From you.”

{From You’ve Got Mail}

Remember the movie ‘You’ve got mail’? I watched it when I was 14. When I didn’t have a clue about the Internet  But I loved it. Or the concept of it. In my teenage heart and mind, I thought it was an amazing way of finding someone. Preferably sitting somewhere in Australia while I was in Bombay at the time.

Of course, when I did get the Internet a year later, I realised that chat rooms weren’t really as lovely as in the movie {Duh!} And of course, given that you stayed anonymous, the chances of the person you were chatting with being a 20-something was far less than them being a 60-something creepy person. So I gave up on that teenage dream and used chat rooms purely to discuss cricket.

Fast forward 15 years later.

The online world has changed big time. Technology has pervaded our lives to such a degree that even if you are not as addicted as yours truly, you could not function without it. {Chat rooms though have probably gone downhill. Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong…I haven’t been on one for almost a decade}.

Nowadays it seems a lot more possible to find someone online thanks to the advent of online dating sites. Sure, there probably still is a risk involved. But compared to a stranger chatting in a chat room for free, you know that the person on some online dating sites has to actually pay to be there. Which should amount to some degree of credibility. It’s also possible to narrow down your searches unlike say at a pub or bar. For instance, whether you are looking for Asian dating, Christian dating or for an atheist with no racial preference, it’s a much easier ball game. The ones who don’t match your preferences are instantly weeded out.

{Click image for source}

As you know, sometime last year, I decided to go down this avenue too given that I work in a female dominated profession. It wasn’t just because of the ads on TV. I know of a few colleagues who in the past 5 to 7 years have actually met their current spouses through online dating.

For someone who can be anxious when meeting new people and in social situations, online dating is a huge bonus! Technology has been great for those of us who can be nervous to start a conversation with someone they like. Having said that, it doesn’t mean that you won’t get anxious at all. It just means that the initial few ‘conversations’ can take place without the other party noticing your anxiety. You also get to think through your responses when emailing someone. You can be funnier and wittier via email than in person. Especially if you are the anxious kind.

Now, you would assume that after a few emails, the next logical step would be a couple of phone conversations perhaps to organise to meet up. However, thanks to technology, that seems to have changed. So far, in my few months, I haven’t spoken on the phone to anyone. I have emailed a few back and forth. And I’ve had the feeling of anticipation like the dialogue at the start for some of them. So far, I have gone out with one guy {didn’t feel any chemistry} and have a date with another. Both times though, the communication was via email and text rather than phone conversations. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate phone calls. In fact, when I was younger, I was constantly on the phone to friends. And so it surprises me that I too have become one of those people who prefer texting over calling. I guess again, like emailing, it’s probably a lot less anxiety-provoking for some of us. Hopefully, I won’t become one of those who actually says or receives an “I love you” via text for the first time {Did you know that people actually do that???}

{Click image for source}

I love technology and all it has to offer. I am quietly hopeful about online dating. It opens up a whole pool of people you probably would never meet in your lifetime. But at the same time, I do hope once it moves past the exchanging of a few emails to meeting up and if sparks fly, for a reasonably less technologically-dominant relationship would be my preference.

One where you call each other and talk for hours on end.

Or where you meet up for coffee, drinks and dinner without a smartphone to interrupt.

And one where the first “I love you” is said in a face-to-face encounter.

So tell me, how has technology impacted on your relationship?

Are you one of those couples who said “I love you” the first time via text or email? Did you meet your partner online?

Do share!

***The views and opinions offered in this article are entirely my own. You can check out the eHarmony Australia Facebook page for more information about what they have to offer or their website on www.eharmony.com.au to review your matches for free***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

You Might Also Like

No Comments

  • Reply
    Comfy
    January 24, 2013 at 10:22 am

    I am more a face to face kind of person. I would rather pick up the phone and call someone when I want to talk than write an email or text. I like the instant responses and the voice infliction when on the phone and facial expressions when I see someone in person.
    D and I used to really talk for hours before we got married and still do if we are not in the same town. Video chat was (and still is) a welcome addition to phone calls.
    The times technology has helped us the most are when we are planning a vacation and can’t be face to face for some reason (work, kids, pure laziness, others), we share our computer screens with the other to say yes or no on the plans we find on the web.

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      January 26, 2013 at 4:02 am

      Thanks for sharing Comfy…I agree with the preference of the phone over texts. I think the other problem with texts and emails is the room for misinterpretation. Having said that, I’m guilty of texting too much because it’s sometimes less anxiety provoking!

  • Reply
    Comfy
    January 24, 2013 at 10:22 am

    I am more a face to face kind of person. I would rather pick up the phone and call someone when I want to talk than write an email or text. I like the instant responses and the voice infliction when on the phone and facial expressions when I see someone in person.
    D and I used to really talk for hours before we got married and still do if we are not in the same town. Video chat was (and still is) a welcome addition to phone calls.
    The times technology has helped us the most are when we are planning a vacation and can’t be face to face for some reason (work, kids, pure laziness, others), we share our computer screens with the other to say yes or no on the plans we find on the web.

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      January 26, 2013 at 4:02 am

      Thanks for sharing Comfy…I agree with the preference of the phone over texts. I think the other problem with texts and emails is the room for misinterpretation. Having said that, I’m guilty of texting too much because it’s sometimes less anxiety provoking!

  • Reply
    Dating Diary – First edition | Over Cups of Coffee
    January 25, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    […] me for my birthday. {By the way, I get the irony that I said no to text messaging all the time in my last post! In my defence, I had written that before I met The […]

  • Reply
    Dating Diary – First edition | Over Cups of Coffee
    January 25, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    […] me for my birthday. {By the way, I get the irony that I said no to text messaging all the time in my last post! In my defence, I had written that before I met The […]

  • Reply
    A
    January 27, 2013 at 9:58 am

    As someone who met my other half online – and who lists You’ve Got Mail as one of her favourites, your blog really does strike a chord with me. Continuing the relationship online is fine to a certain extent but it is important to actually speak on the phone and meet otherwise stepping from virtuality to reality can be very difficult. Great blog BTW 🙂 definitely adding you to my list of fav blogs now 🙂

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      January 29, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Welcome to this space A! I totally agree the need to meet the person…that’s the only way you can find out about chemistry and if you are physically attracted to them as well. Thanks re the comment about the blog! Keep visiting… 🙂

  • Reply
    A
    January 27, 2013 at 9:58 am

    As someone who met my other half online – and who lists You’ve Got Mail as one of her favourites, your blog really does strike a chord with me. Continuing the relationship online is fine to a certain extent but it is important to actually speak on the phone and meet otherwise stepping from virtuality to reality can be very difficult. Great blog BTW 🙂 definitely adding you to my list of fav blogs now 🙂

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      January 29, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Welcome to this space A! I totally agree the need to meet the person…that’s the only way you can find out about chemistry and if you are physically attracted to them as well. Thanks re the comment about the blog! Keep visiting… 🙂

  • Reply
    Melly
    June 10, 2013 at 11:30 am

    I have tried online dating sites and I don’t really like it. You had them on Facebook and you know they’re online… but they don’t talk to you or respond to your messages. It’s like being on a date but the guy in front of you doesn’t talk or answer your questions! They text instead of calling. I miss the good old days when a guy had to come to your door to show he’s interested in you. Technology makes it so much more complicated to get an idea of whether they like you a little or lot… or not at all!

  • Reply
    Melly
    June 10, 2013 at 11:30 am

    I have tried online dating sites and I don’t really like it. You had them on Facebook and you know they’re online… but they don’t talk to you or respond to your messages. It’s like being on a date but the guy in front of you doesn’t talk or answer your questions! They text instead of calling. I miss the good old days when a guy had to come to your door to show he’s interested in you. Technology makes it so much more complicated to get an idea of whether they like you a little or lot… or not at all!

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

Close
error: Content is protected !!