All about the mind

I cried at work the other day…

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Yesterday was a shitty day.

It started with a late night on Tuesday {which was a lovely day} and resulted in sleeping-in instead of hitting the gym in the morning before work.

Bad idea.

Result: cranky-pants and flat. Cranky with the cats. Feeling blah before 8 a.m. Caffeine didn’t do anything.

At work, I was supposed to have only one client in the arvo and was working on my report during the day. The moments when I wasn’t focussed on the report {which were quite a few} were plain crap. I felt really down and really anxious as the same time. About a number of things. None of which were work-related. Needed to force myself to focus on work.

Then at lunch time, I hit a wall.

We were in the lunch room and I was a bit on the quieter side compared to what I usually am. Stuck in my head. And people were talking about a number of things as we normally do. And then I added a comment about something. To which a colleague jokingly but loudly wished me ill in response to the comment I made. Now, this colleague and I do take the piss out of each other a lot. So I’m used to his comments and never take them personally. But for some reason, the mood I was in yesterday and some of the worries I was having got triggered further as a result of this comment.

And to my horror, I could feel tears welling up.

Something I most definitely did not want anyone to see. I put my head down and pretended to laugh. But he wouldn’t let up and kept going.

To the point where my friend M who knew I was having a shitty day had to tell him a few times to quit it. He did. Eventually.

I left the room a little later when people were talking about something else under the pretext of getting something from my desk. By the time I was in my room, I was crying. Except that, he followed me. And was horrified. I think I scared him. He apologised. Over and over. I had to explain that it had more to do with some of my other crazy shit in my head than his comments per se. But that they had triggered other stuff for me. He knows that I worry about things. But I suppose he didn’t know just how crazy I can be.

I hate that.

I hate being vulnerable in front of people. Especially ones that I’m not very close to. I’ve probably only done it once before.

I also decided that I would hit the gym in the evening instead of going to watch a doco I was supposed to because I desperately needed a pick-me-up. It did do the trick.

And this morning, I made sure I did not miss the gym.

I feel a lot better today.

Have you ever been vulnerable at work? 

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

 

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No Comments

  • Reply
    Whoa, Molly!
    April 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Oh my god, I ahve cried at work a million times! I am a crier, it’s just what I do. And it does make me feel a bit weak and mortified and all that.

    But with tears, like spew, it’s better out than in.

    🙂
    Hope you are feeling better.

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      April 18, 2013 at 5:53 pm

      I love the analogy of tears with spew! 😀 Still, I like to come across as strong and less neurotic at work. Sure, my anal and perfectionistic side is fine but not the other stuff…

      And thanks, feeling a lot better today. Exercise does wonders!

  • Reply
    Whoa, Molly!
    April 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Oh my god, I ahve cried at work a million times! I am a crier, it’s just what I do. And it does make me feel a bit weak and mortified and all that.

    But with tears, like spew, it’s better out than in.

    🙂
    Hope you are feeling better.

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      April 18, 2013 at 5:53 pm

      I love the analogy of tears with spew! 😀 Still, I like to come across as strong and less neurotic at work. Sure, my anal and perfectionistic side is fine but not the other stuff…

      And thanks, feeling a lot better today. Exercise does wonders!

  • Reply
    R's Mom
    April 18, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Are you kidding me? I am known in my previous company as a cry baby…I have cried a LOT of times..and honestly PB, I can cry at the drop of a hat…am very bad in controlling my emotions! Its okay…you just showed your colleagues that you are human eh? big big hugs
    R’s Mom recently posted…Long Term Investment – Swimming Costume?My Profile

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      April 18, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      You know RM, I might cry quite a bit and for very silly things but at work, I’ve almost always been stoic. Rarely do I let personal stuff affect me at work. Thanks!

  • Reply
    R's Mom
    April 18, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Are you kidding me? I am known in my previous company as a cry baby…I have cried a LOT of times..and honestly PB, I can cry at the drop of a hat…am very bad in controlling my emotions! Its okay…you just showed your colleagues that you are human eh? big big hugs
    R’s Mom recently posted…Long Term Investment – Swimming Costume?My Profile

    • Reply
      Psych Babbler
      April 18, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      You know RM, I might cry quite a bit and for very silly things but at work, I’ve almost always been stoic. Rarely do I let personal stuff affect me at work. Thanks!

  • Reply
    Jas
    April 18, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    A number of times. I cry at the slightest instigation but at work I try and refrain myself as much as possible. Hugs for you.
    Jas recently posted…CocoonedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jas
    April 18, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    A number of times. I cry at the slightest instigation but at work I try and refrain myself as much as possible. Hugs for you.
    Jas recently posted…CocoonedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Scribby
    April 18, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    I know how this feels 🙁 I do know this feeling of feeling vulnerable in front of people, especially those who shouldn’t even know that we are feeling bad !!!!

    Owwww dear, hugs sweetie…happens, has happened with me too and I still sometimes feel bad about that incident… this post reminded me of it!!

    HUGS, warm and tight!
    Scribby recently posted…Day Off!My Profile

  • Reply
    Scribby
    April 18, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    I know how this feels 🙁 I do know this feeling of feeling vulnerable in front of people, especially those who shouldn’t even know that we are feeling bad !!!!

    Owwww dear, hugs sweetie…happens, has happened with me too and I still sometimes feel bad about that incident… this post reminded me of it!!

    HUGS, warm and tight!
    Scribby recently posted…Day Off!My Profile

  • Reply
    missRBit
    April 18, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    Ohhh hugs. I am glad to hear you’re feeling better. I HATE HATE HATE crying in front of people I barely know and you know, letting go. So I know what you’re saying and can empathise with how you would have felt. Hope you got it all out though and feel lighter 🙂
    missRBit recently posted…Another win for gay marriageMy Profile

  • Reply
    missRBit
    April 18, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    Ohhh hugs. I am glad to hear you’re feeling better. I HATE HATE HATE crying in front of people I barely know and you know, letting go. So I know what you’re saying and can empathise with how you would have felt. Hope you got it all out though and feel lighter 🙂
    missRBit recently posted…Another win for gay marriageMy Profile

  • Reply
    Crunch
    April 18, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    I know what you mean. Especially not in front of the pissing game competitors. But you know what, I’ve actually ended up turning piss pots into friends because they’ve seen me vulnerable. It helps break thick ice formed over years of pissing matches. So it might have just done some good .. maybe! 🙂
    Crunch recently posted…Who needs to be fair and lovely?!My Profile

  • Reply
    Crunch
    April 18, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    I know what you mean. Especially not in front of the pissing game competitors. But you know what, I’ve actually ended up turning piss pots into friends because they’ve seen me vulnerable. It helps break thick ice formed over years of pissing matches. So it might have just done some good .. maybe! 🙂
    Crunch recently posted…Who needs to be fair and lovely?!My Profile

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    April 19, 2013 at 12:15 am

    many many hugs. these things happen, PB. take care.

  • Reply
    Titaxy
    April 19, 2013 at 12:15 am

    many many hugs. these things happen, PB. take care.

  • Reply
    Fatima Benel
    April 19, 2013 at 9:52 am

    YOUR A SWEET HEART. VULNERABILITY IS SO ADORABLE. BUT i know what you mean its hard to show it

  • Reply
    Fatima Benel
    April 19, 2013 at 9:52 am

    YOUR A SWEET HEART. VULNERABILITY IS SO ADORABLE. BUT i know what you mean its hard to show it

  • Reply
    Avada Kedavra
    April 19, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Hugs PB.
    I cry at the drop of a hat. I hate that so much.
    Avada Kedavra recently posted…The woman on platform number 10My Profile

  • Reply
    Avada Kedavra
    April 19, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Hugs PB.
    I cry at the drop of a hat. I hate that so much.
    Avada Kedavra recently posted…The woman on platform number 10My Profile

  • Reply
    NS
    April 24, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    Awwww. Its ok. It happens. And its nothing to be ashamed of.

    Maybe I am the wrong person to be telling this because I am myself such a cry-baby, so vulnerable, so weak-in-a-moment. But this is what my besties – my tomboy besties – would tell everytime I had a worry fit – NS, its ok. Things happen. Big deal.
    NS recently posted…Me, The Kitchen QueenMy Profile

  • Reply
    NS
    April 24, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    Awwww. Its ok. It happens. And its nothing to be ashamed of.

    Maybe I am the wrong person to be telling this because I am myself such a cry-baby, so vulnerable, so weak-in-a-moment. But this is what my besties – my tomboy besties – would tell everytime I had a worry fit – NS, its ok. Things happen. Big deal.
    NS recently posted…Me, The Kitchen QueenMy Profile

  • Reply
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