Life

On becoming extroverted

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For years I have known and accepted the fact that I am an introvert. However, in the last 6 to 8 months, I have begun to question that aspect of my personality. I read a post by Starry a while back and then one by Smitha which made me delve into my own personality a bit more. And finally, a few things earlier in the month really prompted me to pen my thoughts down.

Pushing myself out of my comfort zone in 2013 meant I tried to be more social. For someone who until then was perfectly happy being by herself and catching up with a few close friends, this was a challenge. But I really needed to expand my social group. I was fortunate enough to meet some wonderful people last year — many of whom have become friends. As the months went on, I realised that the more I was around people — either on bush walks, camping trips, weekends away, catching up for dinner or just going for a night out to the movies together — I was loving it. I was getting a lot of energy from it and in spite of lack of sleep, seemed happy. {Yes, there were moments of anxiety and burn out but they were unrelated to this}.

I went a step further and started organising a few bush walks for a group — which involved organising walks for people I didn’t always know. Some regulars would turn up but the majority would be people I had met for the first time. And it wasn’t as daunting as it used to be. I was one of the three people who organised the Mount Kosciuszko trip and on our last night, I tried to get everyone together for a picnic by the river with cheese, crackers and drinks. One of the guys made a comment which made me laugh. As I was messaging people and calling others, he said I was a social butterfly. Me. A social butterfly. I don’t think anyone who knew me prior to 2013 would associate that phrase with me.

I still didn’t really think that made me an extrovert.

As 2014 began, I was a bit busy and didn’t go for any hikes for the first couple of weeks. Plus with everyone being so busy with post-Christmas and New Year hangovers, I didn’t get a chance to catch up with many people. Or anyone for that matter. My friend and her husband visited one weekend and I noticed I was happy to spend it with them. But times on my own weren’t too flash. It wasn’t even because of any anxiety. I was enjoying blogging away but I still felt like something was missing. Something.

And then just around the time of my birthday, my social life picked up. My friends first threw me a surprise party and then I spent last week catching up with another friend, attending a concert all culminating to a wedding on the Saturday, a hike on Sunday and then movies on Sunday night. I noticed by Saturday that my energy levels were really high. As it was after my birthday. Because I spent it with people. I felt truly energised even though I was really lacking sleep. And on Sunday, during a hike with my friends JC and BA, I voiced my thoughts: I think I am an extrovert.

I get a lot more energy from being around people. I notice that I start to feel down after even a couple of ‘alone’ days whereas in the past, I was perfectly okay with a week of not seeing anyone {work doesn’t count}. It doesn’t mean I have to be around people all the time. I am perfectly happy with my own company. But it doesn’t energise me as much as it used to. Now it’s the other way.

So here I am thinking out loud: is it possible for such a core component of our personalities or temperament to change? And thereby, our identities I suppose?

I could just do as JC recommended — I’m not an introvert or an extrovert or any other label.

I’m just Sanch.

***Linking up with Jess because it’s a Tuesday***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • Vanessa
    January 28, 2014 at 8:17 am

    I’ve often wondered if I am actually an introvert. I don’t get out much but I also don’t have trouble getting along with strangers and stuff. I think sometimes we outgrow our friends and that causes us to be an introvert, rather than seeking out new friends.
    Vanessa recently posted…A Launch And A Competition!My Profile

  • Vanessa
    January 28, 2014 at 8:17 am

    I’ve often wondered if I am actually an introvert. I don’t get out much but I also don’t have trouble getting along with strangers and stuff. I think sometimes we outgrow our friends and that causes us to be an introvert, rather than seeking out new friends.
    Vanessa recently posted…A Launch And A Competition!My Profile

  • Silver Huang
    January 28, 2014 at 9:46 am

    Love this post! My own journey was a little more convoluted. As a child, I started off with the impression I was extrovert. Yet some things just never added up. Years later, as an adult, I realised that I was trying to be extrovert for social acceptance because I had extremely low self-esteem.

    Then I realised I had Asperger’s and many of the things that never made sense suddenly did. An Asperger’s individual does desire social interaction but has great difficulties due to the inability to innately learn and understand human social interaction. Social interaction also causes sensory overload and mental and physical fatigue as a result.

    That’s the extremely brief version LOL

    Today I’m at peace with both. I tend to describe myself as both extrovert and introvert, for those who require labels 😉 Otherwise, like you, I’m just me 🙂
    Silver Huang recently posted…Respecting the Natural Cycles of Your Body and MindMy Profile

  • Silver Huang
    January 28, 2014 at 9:46 am

    Love this post! My own journey was a little more convoluted. As a child, I started off with the impression I was extrovert. Yet some things just never added up. Years later, as an adult, I realised that I was trying to be extrovert for social acceptance because I had extremely low self-esteem.

    Then I realised I had Asperger’s and many of the things that never made sense suddenly did. An Asperger’s individual does desire social interaction but has great difficulties due to the inability to innately learn and understand human social interaction. Social interaction also causes sensory overload and mental and physical fatigue as a result.

    That’s the extremely brief version LOL

    Today I’m at peace with both. I tend to describe myself as both extrovert and introvert, for those who require labels 😉 Otherwise, like you, I’m just me 🙂
    Silver Huang recently posted…Respecting the Natural Cycles of Your Body and MindMy Profile

  • Avada Kedavra
    January 28, 2014 at 10:33 am

    I guess people do change with time and circumstances. I think it is wrong to label someone as introvert or extrovert. I think I am neither. I like hanging out with people, don’t mind LOT of people too, but I also like the “me” time when I am just alone.
    Avada Kedavra recently posted…When you are over organized…My Profile

  • Avada Kedavra
    January 28, 2014 at 10:33 am

    I guess people do change with time and circumstances. I think it is wrong to label someone as introvert or extrovert. I think I am neither. I like hanging out with people, don’t mind LOT of people too, but I also like the “me” time when I am just alone.
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  • ME-er
    January 28, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    I have also felt that I have been changing. The stress at work and not having any friends at workplace makes me want to surround myself with people on weekends. I am an introvert too. Except this one thing seems to have changed in me too. 🙂

  • ME-er
    January 28, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    I have also felt that I have been changing. The stress at work and not having any friends at workplace makes me want to surround myself with people on weekends. I am an introvert too. Except this one thing seems to have changed in me too. 🙂

  • EssentiallyJess
    January 28, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    I honestly believe that we have the power to pretty much rewire our entire brain. I’ve been listening to an expert on the brain, and she says our ability to change our thinking is incredible. We can literally perform brain surgery on ourselves through our thinking. So yes, I think we can change core components of ourselves. Anything is possible.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Mad About Bridget #IBOTMy Profile

  • EssentiallyJess
    January 28, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    I honestly believe that we have the power to pretty much rewire our entire brain. I’ve been listening to an expert on the brain, and she says our ability to change our thinking is incredible. We can literally perform brain surgery on ourselves through our thinking. So yes, I think we can change core components of ourselves. Anything is possible.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Mad About Bridget #IBOTMy Profile

  • Pinky Poinker
    January 28, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Hmmm… I believe I’m a party animal extrovert when I’ve had a couple of wines and a cranky, boring old fart when I’m sober so I guess that means deep down when the inhibitions are removed I’m an extrovert. Personally I think I’m much funnier and more entertaining when the filter is removed but I MAY be the only one who thinks so 🙂
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  • Pinky Poinker
    January 28, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Hmmm… I believe I’m a party animal extrovert when I’ve had a couple of wines and a cranky, boring old fart when I’m sober so I guess that means deep down when the inhibitions are removed I’m an extrovert. Personally I think I’m much funnier and more entertaining when the filter is removed but I MAY be the only one who thinks so 🙂
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  • Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    January 28, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    I really think it is possible, as I used to be VERY shy as a younger person and also VERY insecure but I just changed, well since having kids I suppose. I’m happy for you x
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  • Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    January 28, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    I really think it is possible, as I used to be VERY shy as a younger person and also VERY insecure but I just changed, well since having kids I suppose. I’m happy for you x
    Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me recently posted…Stern, Snobby and Sporty Spice – just some of the school pick-up personalities!My Profile

  • Chantel
    January 29, 2014 at 12:57 am

    I’m loud and obnoxious when I’m with people I know. But I think I’m really an introvert – but then I thrive on people and don’t really like my own company – who knows! Like you say, I’m not a label. I’m just me and I think it expends on the time and place as to whether I need people or I need me 🙂

    Hello from #teamIBOT

  • Chantel
    January 29, 2014 at 12:57 am

    I’m loud and obnoxious when I’m with people I know. But I think I’m really an introvert – but then I thrive on people and don’t really like my own company – who knows! Like you say, I’m not a label. I’m just me and I think it expends on the time and place as to whether I need people or I need me 🙂

    Hello from #teamIBOT

  • Vidya Chathoth
    January 29, 2014 at 2:53 am

    I used to be a person who loved having people around all the time. When I was suddenly thrown into seclusion, I dreaded and feared the loneliness that I felt. Over the years, I have outgrown this fear of solitude. In fact, I find it as important as the social interactions I cherish. When the mind is too full with the experiences that we have accumulated through our interactions with the world, we need our solitude to let these experiences percolate deep within…to be able to make sense of them.

  • Vidya Chathoth
    January 29, 2014 at 2:53 am

    I used to be a person who loved having people around all the time. When I was suddenly thrown into seclusion, I dreaded and feared the loneliness that I felt. Over the years, I have outgrown this fear of solitude. In fact, I find it as important as the social interactions I cherish. When the mind is too full with the experiences that we have accumulated through our interactions with the world, we need our solitude to let these experiences percolate deep within…to be able to make sense of them.

  • Tegan
    January 29, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    I’m definitely an introvert. Spending extending time with other people stresses me out and I usually need time out.
    I’m glad that you were able to find a group of people that you shared interests with and who helped you to come out of your shell!
    Tegan recently posted…Self Harm MythsMy Profile

  • Tegan
    January 29, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    I’m definitely an introvert. Spending extending time with other people stresses me out and I usually need time out.
    I’m glad that you were able to find a group of people that you shared interests with and who helped you to come out of your shell!
    Tegan recently posted…Self Harm MythsMy Profile

  • Mi
    January 29, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    I think introvert and extrovert are very relative terms. Like some can open up with their closed ones and show their crazy side, talk for hours non stop and confide easily. And then when they go out and try to get social, they are not able to do it. Where as some people are so outgoing that they behave superficially, trying to say hi and hellos to everyone they meet and somewhere in solitude they are very closed and private. You never know.

    i could never categorize myself as either! Somewhere in between! Normal, they call people like us, perhaps 😀 😀 😉
    Mi recently posted…Rolls and ChaMy Profile

  • Mi
    January 29, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    I think introvert and extrovert are very relative terms. Like some can open up with their closed ones and show their crazy side, talk for hours non stop and confide easily. And then when they go out and try to get social, they are not able to do it. Where as some people are so outgoing that they behave superficially, trying to say hi and hellos to everyone they meet and somewhere in solitude they are very closed and private. You never know.

    i could never categorize myself as either! Somewhere in between! Normal, they call people like us, perhaps 😀 😀 😉
    Mi recently posted…Rolls and ChaMy Profile

  • Pixie
    January 31, 2014 at 2:51 am

    I’m glad you have grown out of your shell and you are enjoying yourself.
    I wouldn’t label myself either..

    Keep having fun PB and may 2014 be a fabulous year for you! 🙂

  • Pixie
    January 31, 2014 at 2:51 am

    I’m glad you have grown out of your shell and you are enjoying yourself.
    I wouldn’t label myself either..

    Keep having fun PB and may 2014 be a fabulous year for you! 🙂

  • Kalpana Solsi
    January 31, 2014 at 3:17 am

    Introvert or an extrovert , its just a phase of life. At time I feel like going out and meeting people and there are days when I wish I would be the only soul in the elevator.

  • Kalpana Solsi
    January 31, 2014 at 3:17 am

    Introvert or an extrovert , its just a phase of life. At time I feel like going out and meeting people and there are days when I wish I would be the only soul in the elevator.

  • Shilpa Garg
    January 31, 2014 at 3:28 am

    That’s fantastic PB! Glad that you met a new you and you are enjoying her company too! Kudos. And have a great time! Cheers 🙂
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…True BeautyMy Profile

  • Shilpa Garg
    January 31, 2014 at 3:28 am

    That’s fantastic PB! Glad that you met a new you and you are enjoying her company too! Kudos. And have a great time! Cheers 🙂
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…True BeautyMy Profile

  • Starry
    March 1, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    I still haven’t figured it out. Most quizzes place me squarley int he middle as an ambivert. I get energized by people, but still prefer meaningful interaction with one or a couple of people than a crowd. I hate being the center of attention, but I love being accepted, admired and adored for the right, meaningful reason. I can’t be flaky and popular. I need a lot of time to warm up, but also sometimes I just open up to certain people. I’m very talkative, but can also be tonuge-tied.

    It was interesting to read about how you are changing, or is it just that some aspects of your personality are blooming now? Maybe we do change, or maybe it’s just a desire to explore and come out of comfort zones. Whatever…as long as you’re happy.
    Starry recently posted…Claiming my spaceMy Profile

  • Starry
    March 1, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    I still haven’t figured it out. Most quizzes place me squarley int he middle as an ambivert. I get energized by people, but still prefer meaningful interaction with one or a couple of people than a crowd. I hate being the center of attention, but I love being accepted, admired and adored for the right, meaningful reason. I can’t be flaky and popular. I need a lot of time to warm up, but also sometimes I just open up to certain people. I’m very talkative, but can also be tonuge-tied.

    It was interesting to read about how you are changing, or is it just that some aspects of your personality are blooming now? Maybe we do change, or maybe it’s just a desire to explore and come out of comfort zones. Whatever…as long as you’re happy.
    Starry recently posted…Claiming my spaceMy Profile

  • So I’m still around | Over Cups of Coffee
    May 12, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    […] people though in spite of enjoying my own company. It’s just that lately, I have enjoyed being with groups of people a lot […]

  • So I’m still around | Over Cups of Coffee
    May 12, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    […] people though in spite of enjoying my own company. It’s just that lately, I have enjoyed being with groups of people a lot […]

  • Julie
    February 22, 2016 at 9:45 am

    Yes I think we change as we get older I am less of in extrovert now than I used to be.

  • Julie
    February 22, 2016 at 9:45 am

    Yes I think we change as we get older I am less of in extrovert now than I used to be.

  • Jess
    February 22, 2016 at 10:43 am

    How interesting! I think I can be good sometimes at faking extroversion, but it is exhausting to me.
    Jess recently posted…Using affirmation cards to boost your child’s self esteemMy Profile

  • Jess
    February 22, 2016 at 10:43 am

    How interesting! I think I can be good sometimes at faking extroversion, but it is exhausting to me.
    Jess recently posted…Using affirmation cards to boost your child’s self esteemMy Profile

  • Natalie @ our parallel connection
    February 22, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    I love how you say people give you energy cause that happens to me. But people also take my energy and these people I now avoid
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  • Natalie @ our parallel connection
    February 22, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    I love how you say people give you energy cause that happens to me. But people also take my energy and these people I now avoid
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  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    February 22, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    I definitely think aspects of our personality change over time. I used to be in to the “four temperament theory” and for years was convinced I was “melancholy”. Now I think I took on that personality because of the abuse I suffered in my family of origin – if I was “perfect” maybe I would be out of the firing line. These days I think I have a lot more sunshiney sanguine to my nature 🙂 but hopefully just the good parts!!!
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  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    February 22, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    I definitely think aspects of our personality change over time. I used to be in to the “four temperament theory” and for years was convinced I was “melancholy”. Now I think I took on that personality because of the abuse I suffered in my family of origin – if I was “perfect” maybe I would be out of the firing line. These days I think I have a lot more sunshiney sanguine to my nature 🙂 but hopefully just the good parts!!!
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…The Block: Art Deco Style?My Profile

  • Zita
    February 23, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    I think it is definitely possible to change and I find myself agreeing with your post and thinking that I am quite similar. I never thought much about the energy thing until recently and I think there is a lot in it. I think at the moment, in my current situation of living with 3 other adults and 2 toddlers, my energy is often drained so I am craving my own time often.. which is my gym time!
    Zita recently posted…Confessions of an extroverted introvert travellerMy Profile

  • Zita
    February 23, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    I think it is definitely possible to change and I find myself agreeing with your post and thinking that I am quite similar. I never thought much about the energy thing until recently and I think there is a lot in it. I think at the moment, in my current situation of living with 3 other adults and 2 toddlers, my energy is often drained so I am craving my own time often.. which is my gym time!
    Zita recently posted…Confessions of an extroverted introvert travellerMy Profile

  • Tegan
    February 23, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Wow what an amazing transition. I enjoy spending time with people but I still need that downtime to recharge.
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  • Tegan
    February 23, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Wow what an amazing transition. I enjoy spending time with people but I still need that downtime to recharge.
    Tegan recently posted…My Mum has Depression: A ReviewMy Profile

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    February 23, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    I think I’m moving the opposite way Sanch! I have always been an extrovert but since I’ve been working from home I’ve been embracing my introvert – I find I need to be alone more than before so I can recharge. I still enjoy being with people and I do draw my energy from being social but for the first time I’m noticing my intense need for solitude as well.
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…I must confess…introvert or extrovert?My Profile

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    February 23, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    I think I’m moving the opposite way Sanch! I have always been an extrovert but since I’ve been working from home I’ve been embracing my introvert – I find I need to be alone more than before so I can recharge. I still enjoy being with people and I do draw my energy from being social but for the first time I’m noticing my intense need for solitude as well.
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…I must confess…introvert or extrovert?My Profile

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