Life NaBloPoMo

Judging a book by its cover

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I had something interesting happen last week. One of my friends at uni, K, mentioned to a couple of the guys in our class who we walk back to the station with and sit next to, that I got published recently. Of course, given we are doing a writing course, they enquired about where I had been published and I mentioned how I wrote for Go Camping Australia. At this, one of the guys laughed and said something like ‘I don’t think you’ve ever been camping a day in your life.’ Of course, I defended that comment {and you readers will know just how much I have been camping and hiking particularly in the last 12 months}

But it got me thinking. He, and others at uni, see me twice a week dressed up in work clothes — usually a skirt or a dress with heels. And I guess they probably make assumptions that I’m some sort of princess. That I would hate to get dirty and wouldn’t survive out in the bush. Given that I am a nerd as well, they probably think I am introverted as well. I did manage to convince him that I do love hiking and camping and that I am off to Tasmania was a 7 day hike on the Overland Track in December. And that my friends, is no easy feat! In a funny way, when one of my hiking friends saw me last year in a social setting after work, she said something along the lines of ‘Oh! You dress up!’. She had only seen me in my hiking gear until then.

We are quick to judge people based on a few things we notice and fail to realise that it is maybe just one part of them. This is especially so when we see people only in a certain context. We all have our different ‘selves’ if you must, and sometimes, it is only a few people who see all these ‘selves’ at the same time. I am genuine almost all the time and what you see is what you get. But, I am also multi-dimensional {like most of us} and therefore, while you might see me in one context all the time and just think I am that way, it is not really the case.

I love to read. I love to write. I love my me-time but I also love being in social groups. I love to hike and camp. I enjoy the beach. I am neurotic but I am also okay with it. I can be professional and I swear like a trooper. I can be serious and I can be silly. I can dress up and I can dag down. I can be shitting myself when it comes to some public speaking event and yet, I can bullshit my way through another. I can smile at the world but can be hurting inside at the same time. Yes, like everyone else, I cannot be judged by my cover.

To truly know someone, we need to communicate. To be open. And vulnerable. Judging them by their cover only proves to be a barrier to this communication.

When was the last time someone made a wrong assumption of you? Or you did of someone else?

Do share!

photo credit: kevin dooley via photopin cc

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • nabanita
    November 4, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    oh so many times..like when I joined my current project we had gone for team lunch..It had only been a week or so since I had joined the team…So at lunch they were all bitching about managers and people I hadn’t heard off… So I kept quiet…At this my lead assumed that I won’t be able to communicate when it comes to work…we judge people all to easily without even knowing them..that’s us..
    nabanita recently posted…#MicroblogMondays: Gardens & Books ReadMy Profile

  • nabanita
    November 4, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    oh so many times..like when I joined my current project we had gone for team lunch..It had only been a week or so since I had joined the team…So at lunch they were all bitching about managers and people I hadn’t heard off… So I kept quiet…At this my lead assumed that I won’t be able to communicate when it comes to work…we judge people all to easily without even knowing them..that’s us..
    nabanita recently posted…#MicroblogMondays: Gardens & Books ReadMy Profile

  • Rajlakshmi
    November 4, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    I love girls who are all packed into one 😀
    People think I am all calm, timid, non agressive kind of person. hah if only they knew!! 😉
    My appraisal took a setback when the manager assumed that.
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…Books I Read in 2014My Profile

  • Rajlakshmi
    November 4, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    I love girls who are all packed into one 😀
    People think I am all calm, timid, non agressive kind of person. hah if only they knew!! 😉
    My appraisal took a setback when the manager assumed that.
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…Books I Read in 2014My Profile

  • Shailaja V
    November 4, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    So absolutely, endearingly true. I know how easy it is to be judged based on one meeting, one look or even repeated meetings under the same circumstances. But, at the end of the day, I am comfortable with who I am and what I do. Those who cannot stand that are probably too far back in their own personal paths to understand. You are very inspiring. How you juggle everything the way you do is phenomenal.
    Shailaja V recently posted…What do you see?- #FridayFictioneersMy Profile

  • Shailaja V
    November 4, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    So absolutely, endearingly true. I know how easy it is to be judged based on one meeting, one look or even repeated meetings under the same circumstances. But, at the end of the day, I am comfortable with who I am and what I do. Those who cannot stand that are probably too far back in their own personal paths to understand. You are very inspiring. How you juggle everything the way you do is phenomenal.
    Shailaja V recently posted…What do you see?- #FridayFictioneersMy Profile

  • Roshan Radhakrishnan
    November 4, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    Recently I did meet someone I had known for a few years online.. I had a pretty high opinion of the person but in real life, things turned out to be quite different: said person was very much ‘status-and- class conscious’ around the people next to her, which really made me cringe inside…
    Roshan Radhakrishnan recently posted…INK 2014: Beyond BoundariesMy Profile

  • Roshan Radhakrishnan
    November 4, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    Recently I did meet someone I had known for a few years online.. I had a pretty high opinion of the person but in real life, things turned out to be quite different: said person was very much ‘status-and- class conscious’ around the people next to her, which really made me cringe inside…
    Roshan Radhakrishnan recently posted…INK 2014: Beyond BoundariesMy Profile

  • Laurel Regan
    November 5, 2014 at 2:01 am

    Such wise words! It really is true – we are all multi-dimensional, and it’s just not fair to base our judgment of someone on one small part of what they present to us. Well said!
    Laurel Regan recently posted…Tangled Tuesday No. 27 + 100 Happy Days – Day 53My Profile

  • Laurel Regan
    November 5, 2014 at 2:01 am

    Such wise words! It really is true – we are all multi-dimensional, and it’s just not fair to base our judgment of someone on one small part of what they present to us. Well said!
    Laurel Regan recently posted…Tangled Tuesday No. 27 + 100 Happy Days – Day 53My Profile

  • Kathy S Combs
    November 5, 2014 at 11:07 am

    I think people do that all the time. I am constantly amazed by people and really happy when someone I never dreamed of being a friend becomes one. Sometimes I am right with my first impression, but most times I am happily wrong and gain a friend in the long run, or at least an acquaintance!
    Kathy S Combs recently posted…Dawn HaikuMy Profile

  • Kathy S Combs
    November 5, 2014 at 11:07 am

    I think people do that all the time. I am constantly amazed by people and really happy when someone I never dreamed of being a friend becomes one. Sometimes I am right with my first impression, but most times I am happily wrong and gain a friend in the long run, or at least an acquaintance!
    Kathy S Combs recently posted…Dawn HaikuMy Profile

  • Kaleena's Kaleidoscope
    November 11, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    I love this! And I am the same as you in many ways! I like to look well put together and have always been an over achiever so many people always thought that meant I couldn’t get down and dirty or let loose and be the life of the party. But some of us can do all of those things. 🙂 I’ve often been the judged book, but it’s also a good reminder to not judge others right away, too. Found you on NaBloPoMo. 🙂
    Kaleena’s Kaleidoscope recently posted…Sh*t My Students Write: Part 3My Profile

  • Kaleena's Kaleidoscope
    November 11, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    I love this! And I am the same as you in many ways! I like to look well put together and have always been an over achiever so many people always thought that meant I couldn’t get down and dirty or let loose and be the life of the party. But some of us can do all of those things. 🙂 I’ve often been the judged book, but it’s also a good reminder to not judge others right away, too. Found you on NaBloPoMo. 🙂
    Kaleena’s Kaleidoscope recently posted…Sh*t My Students Write: Part 3My Profile

  • Nibha
    November 11, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    Being an introvert I have been judged wrong so many times. At times when I don’t speak my heart out people mistaken it as I don’t get hurt! I wonder if it’s my fault that I don’t show all my emotion on first page of my book! :/ I wonder, can’t people dig a little deeper and turn a few pages and then see who we really are?
    Nibha recently posted…The Sunday Scroll #19My Profile

  • Nibha
    November 11, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    Being an introvert I have been judged wrong so many times. At times when I don’t speak my heart out people mistaken it as I don’t get hurt! I wonder if it’s my fault that I don’t show all my emotion on first page of my book! :/ I wonder, can’t people dig a little deeper and turn a few pages and then see who we really are?
    Nibha recently posted…The Sunday Scroll #19My Profile

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