Life lessons

Shit happens. But why?

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I am very aware that life isn’t fair. I have no fantasies about justice. But every now and then, something occurs that makes me question this. It makes me wonder why life is just so unfair for some people over others. Why shit happens a lot more only for some individuals while others have the usual ups and downs in life.

Last week was a tough week at work. I had a client in crisis but was able to deal with all of it. I had pretty full days resulting in eating lunch at my desk while catching up on paperwork. Then on Thursday, the day before the long weekend, I saw a new family for an assessment. And their story — or at least, the mum’s story — broke my heart. I was horrified at all they had endured. It seemed so unfair for someone to have suffered for almost all their life. There has been some unimaginable trauma consistently for years. And while on the outside, she wasn’t broken, there was something dead in her eyes. Like all hope was gone.

I heard her story in the assessment and I teared up. One tear drop made it’s way on to my notes. It rarely happens.I don’t think she saw it.

Later that evening driving home, I cried openly. I was angry. Angry at the world. Angry that someone has to suffer so much. Angry that some families and some people don’t get a break. It’s stuff like this that has made me question the existence of a god. If there was a god, why would some people have so much suffering while others don’t? If there was a god, why would he or she cut some families some slack? I don’t believe that god does these things to people because he knows that they are capable of shouldering some kind of burden. Because you know what? No matter how heavy a burden, they deserve a fucking break.

I also feel helpless in times like these. I question what I can do. After all, when someone has suffered for so long, there is only so much therapeutic help you can provide them with. There is not much you can change. They are jaded and who can blame them?

So while I know shit happens, this shit is not distributed evenly. Some people live their entire lives in a cocoon and the worst they might experience is the break up of a relationship or the death of a loved one. Yet, there are others who are subject to abuse, neglect, violence, injustices at work, poor family relationships, poor social relationships, poverty and so much more.

All I can think of is WHY?

Image Source: Pixabay

Until next time,

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26 Comments

  • Reply
    Laura
    April 5, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    It’s not fair is it! I don’t think anyone can answer this question really… But I guess everyone’s gotta feel the lows to feel the highs? If that makes sense. But that does in now way compensate for what some people go through x

    • Reply
      Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      April 6, 2015 at 9:37 pm

      Yeah…it’s one of those questions I’m sure we all have at some point. I know we all feel the lows and the highs…it’s the law of averages. But some people don’t seem to experience any highs. Or maybe just a whole lot more lows.

  • Reply
    Laura
    April 5, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    It’s not fair is it! I don’t think anyone can answer this question really… But I guess everyone’s gotta feel the lows to feel the highs? If that makes sense. But that does in now way compensate for what some people go through x

    • Reply
      Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      April 6, 2015 at 9:37 pm

      Yeah…it’s one of those questions I’m sure we all have at some point. I know we all feel the lows and the highs…it’s the law of averages. But some people don’t seem to experience any highs. Or maybe just a whole lot more lows.

  • Reply
    Lillian Csernica
    April 5, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    I hear you. My life is far from perfect, and I live every day with the sorrow over what my sons will not get to experience in life. Even so, I know that it could always be worse. Some days that’s a comfort, and other days it just makes me even more depressed. The only thing to do is help each other as much as we can in whatever ways we can manage. God bless you for going into your line of work. That takes great courage and compassion.
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  • Reply
    Lillian Csernica
    April 5, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    I hear you. My life is far from perfect, and I live every day with the sorrow over what my sons will not get to experience in life. Even so, I know that it could always be worse. Some days that’s a comfort, and other days it just makes me even more depressed. The only thing to do is help each other as much as we can in whatever ways we can manage. God bless you for going into your line of work. That takes great courage and compassion.
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  • Reply
    elly stornebrink
    April 5, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Good question Sanch: I used to think and question exactly those thoughts! I do not know the answer – I am not God! 😉 – but what comes to mind is a book (which I haven’t read yet though) entitled, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People. Perhaps there is an answer there…? I hope the family you serve does get a much-needed break soon and that you are able to comfort and support as much and as best you can. <3

  • Reply
    elly stornebrink
    April 5, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Good question Sanch: I used to think and question exactly those thoughts! I do not know the answer – I am not God! 😉 – but what comes to mind is a book (which I haven’t read yet though) entitled, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People. Perhaps there is an answer there…? I hope the family you serve does get a much-needed break soon and that you are able to comfort and support as much and as best you can. <3

  • Reply
    Zita
    April 5, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    I know exactly what you mean and have had these exact same thoughts when listening to some of the students I used to work with and I too wondered what I could do to help. I even used to say to some of them ‘How do you see me helping you!’ And they would reply with slightly different versions of just needing someone to listen to them…. So sad and unfair sometimes.
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  • Reply
    Zita
    April 5, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    I know exactly what you mean and have had these exact same thoughts when listening to some of the students I used to work with and I too wondered what I could do to help. I even used to say to some of them ‘How do you see me helping you!’ And they would reply with slightly different versions of just needing someone to listen to them…. So sad and unfair sometimes.
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  • Reply
    Laurel Regan
    April 6, 2015 at 3:01 am

    I hear you. I was struck by a story I heard this week of a man who had been on death row in the US for 30 years, for a crime he didn’t commit. What a waste of a life. When it comes to things like this, I sure wish I had some answers as to WHY.
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  • Reply
    Laurel Regan
    April 6, 2015 at 3:01 am

    I hear you. I was struck by a story I heard this week of a man who had been on death row in the US for 30 years, for a crime he didn’t commit. What a waste of a life. When it comes to things like this, I sure wish I had some answers as to WHY.
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  • Reply
    Gael - The Vinyl Edition
    April 6, 2015 at 9:21 am

    This is such a tough one. But firstly let me say that it gives me hope that professionals in your position still care deeply about people in need of help.
    As far as God goes, look, I don’t know. I have faith that he exists because I need to know that there is more to life than just us and the planet we are destroying. Having said that, I have no faith whatsoever in organised religion. None at all.
    But the unfairness, that’s always bothered me. Why are good people taken from us while paedophiles and murderers roam free? I will never understand that.
    Gael – The Vinyl Edition recently posted…C is for Canteen/Tuckshop FoodMy Profile

  • Reply
    Gael - The Vinyl Edition
    April 6, 2015 at 9:21 am

    This is such a tough one. But firstly let me say that it gives me hope that professionals in your position still care deeply about people in need of help.
    As far as God goes, look, I don’t know. I have faith that he exists because I need to know that there is more to life than just us and the planet we are destroying. Having said that, I have no faith whatsoever in organised religion. None at all.
    But the unfairness, that’s always bothered me. Why are good people taken from us while paedophiles and murderers roam free? I will never understand that.
    Gael – The Vinyl Edition recently posted…C is for Canteen/Tuckshop FoodMy Profile

  • Reply
    Fluffy
    April 6, 2015 at 10:10 am

    There truly is no rhyme or reason to the way the cards fall in life and to the way events turn out – at least none that we can see. Deepak talks about viewing set-backs (as many and as horrible as they are) as a part of a larger plan carrying you forward. xx
    Fluffy recently posted…#4 Committing to KindnessMy Profile

  • Reply
    Fluffy
    April 6, 2015 at 10:10 am

    There truly is no rhyme or reason to the way the cards fall in life and to the way events turn out – at least none that we can see. Deepak talks about viewing set-backs (as many and as horrible as they are) as a part of a larger plan carrying you forward. xx
    Fluffy recently posted…#4 Committing to KindnessMy Profile

  • Reply
    Alicia
    April 6, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    I try not to think of the evil in this world, hearing it on the news is hard enough. It is so unfair, and I so wish people were kinder to each other. Thank goodness there are heroes like you to help victims get through. I could never understand how you do it, but I do admire it. I have to wonder who you go to, to get through the emotions you have, doing your job x
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  • Reply
    Alicia
    April 6, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    I try not to think of the evil in this world, hearing it on the news is hard enough. It is so unfair, and I so wish people were kinder to each other. Thank goodness there are heroes like you to help victims get through. I could never understand how you do it, but I do admire it. I have to wonder who you go to, to get through the emotions you have, doing your job x
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  • Reply
    GAil
    April 8, 2015 at 7:15 am

    One of my favorite inspirational speakers is John Bytheway. He gave a great talk on why bad things happen to good people. I highly recommend it…
    https://www.lds.org/new-era/2008/09/five-scriptures-that-will-help-you-get-through-almost-anything?lang=eng

    I don’t think we have all the answers now, and this is a hard thing to know, but we can get glimpses…
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  • Reply
    GAil
    April 8, 2015 at 7:15 am

    One of my favorite inspirational speakers is John Bytheway. He gave a great talk on why bad things happen to good people. I highly recommend it…
    https://www.lds.org/new-era/2008/09/five-scriptures-that-will-help-you-get-through-almost-anything?lang=eng

    I don’t think we have all the answers now, and this is a hard thing to know, but we can get glimpses…
    GAil recently posted…False MemoryMy Profile

  • Reply
    Eloquent Mind
    April 8, 2015 at 7:22 am

    You are so kind Sanch because you feel for someone who is suffering and in pain. Wish we could always find answers as to why good people need to suffer bad times, but unfortunately I guess there is no definitive answer. 🙁

    *Sending you a big hug!*
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  • Reply
    Eloquent Mind
    April 8, 2015 at 7:22 am

    You are so kind Sanch because you feel for someone who is suffering and in pain. Wish we could always find answers as to why good people need to suffer bad times, but unfortunately I guess there is no definitive answer. 🙁

    *Sending you a big hug!*
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  • Reply
    Nancy Lowell
    April 10, 2015 at 4:37 am

    I gave up the notion and tracking of fairness a long time ago. Fairness is a myth and looking for it a fruitless quest. I think you are on the right track in wondering what might make that woman’s journey a little easier.
    Nancy Lowell recently posted…Little Blue BookMy Profile

  • Reply
    Nancy Lowell
    April 10, 2015 at 4:37 am

    I gave up the notion and tracking of fairness a long time ago. Fairness is a myth and looking for it a fruitless quest. I think you are on the right track in wondering what might make that woman’s journey a little easier.
    Nancy Lowell recently posted…Little Blue BookMy Profile

  • Reply
    Asha
    April 10, 2015 at 11:39 am

    An excellent question. The injustice of distribution of burdens irks me too. What constantly astounds me is the way so many of those who are heavily burdened, who are unjustly weighted, manage to endure. I felt every ounce of your frustration.

  • Reply
    Asha
    April 10, 2015 at 11:39 am

    An excellent question. The injustice of distribution of burdens irks me too. What constantly astounds me is the way so many of those who are heavily burdened, who are unjustly weighted, manage to endure. I felt every ounce of your frustration.

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