Life

Midlife crisis at thirty-two

I think I’m experiencing a midlife crisis of some sort. Technically, I suppose I don’t qualify for ‘midlife’ just yet. But at 32, I am going through a struggle of sorts in terms of career, relationships, who I am and well, life in general. I know I previously spoke about having an itch. In fact, all of 2015, I struggled with this yearning for change. Eventually, I thought it might be just the workplace I was in and with a change of job this year, I thought it was enough.

Two months later, the question of what I’m doing with my life has arisen once again.

I do like my new job although it has been busier and more full on than I initially assumed. I am seeing way more clients than I did at my previous job and have been working longer hours. I have not had enough time to exercise and as for writing creatively or freelance, that’s all gone out the window. It saddens me as 2016 was going to be the year I focussed on my writing. Since starting the job, I have no energy for it.

In the last week or so, I’ve been questioning my life again — is this what I really want? Is this all there is to life? Are we just meant to go to work, come home and not have energy for anything else? Are we just meant to cook and clean and keep house? Are we just meant to pay the bills and occasionally catch up with friends? Are we just meant to catch up on sleep on the weekends thanks to being utterly exhausted during the week?

I find myself wondering if I am just over my career as a psychologist. I mean, I do enjoy working with the kids and teens I see. But at some level, I am also over it all. I can’t help but wonder if I’m craving a career change. I recently read that 35 year olds are being hit by a career change crisis. At the same time, I can’t think of what career I’d change to.

I do like writing but I doubt it’s something I could sustain. I continue to think I’m not good enough and well, don’t have enough experience. I’d love to open a bookstore but given the current market, we all know that’s not the greatest idea. And can I truly afford to start again at 32?

Then I wonder if I should have gone ahead with a sea change. Gone for that job interview down the south coast and made the move. At least for 12 months to try it all out while renting my unit. I’m not the kind of personality who can sell everything and just go travelling. I’d miss my kitties way too much. But I am one who wouldn’t dislike a stable enough move.

I know I don’t want kids, I know I don’t want to move countries. I know I still want my cats and I know I want some more down time. I still want my unit and I still need to write. I need to be able to go to the beach and still have a network of friends.

In the end, I just want to figure out what I want. I need to know what I need to live instead of just existing the way I am. Because one day, I’m going to die and then, I don’t want to regret this life.

Ever had a midlife crisis your thirties? How did you figure out your career and what you were meant to be doing?

Do share!

***Linking with Jess for IBOT***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

SANCH_sig1

 

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  • Inderpreet Kaur Uppal
    March 22, 2016 at 7:31 am

    Boy! tough questions and all I can say is follow your heart but use common sense in choosing your options. 🙂 Hope that helps. All the best.
    Inderpreet Kaur Uppal recently posted…The Brontë Plot by Katherine ReayMy Profile

  • Inderpreet Kaur Uppal
    March 22, 2016 at 7:31 am

    Boy! tough questions and all I can say is follow your heart but use common sense in choosing your options. 🙂 Hope that helps. All the best.
    Inderpreet Kaur Uppal recently posted…The Brontë Plot by Katherine ReayMy Profile

  • Ashleigh @ MyMeow
    March 22, 2016 at 8:13 am

    Twin. Twin. Twin. You’re two years behind where I was. Felt the same way. Kept changing jobs thinking that is what would make me happy. After a while you’re doing the same shit in a different location. I also found that once we decided not to have kids, life looks kind of empty, where as parenting sets you on a path. But guess what? It means you have more flexibility to take a risk without worrying about mouths to feed. We really sat down as a couple and talked about what we wanted our life to look like no kids and it helped. I think you need a substantial change like moving OR have you thought about working 3 days a week? It is a money cut but honestly you need TIME to pursue the things you are asking about. Otherwise years just pass. And you can always go back.
    Ashleigh @ MyMeow recently posted…The Dark Side of Easter – Ethical ChocolateMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 22, 2016 at 8:21 am

      In hindsight, I should have stuck to my old job and cut down days to four. I had even talked to my boss about it in October last year. Downside is Mr Imperfect lost his job in December last year and has not had consistent work so far in spite of applying to several jobs. Kinda means I’m the sole breadwinner. I took a school job hoping for school holidays and figuring that’d give me time to write. However, there were issues with my pay and after re-negotiating the contract, it’s now a regular job with 4 weeks annual leave. The downside is I feel like I should give this job at least 2 years before I jump ship. I’ll be 34 by then ? Decisions, decisions

  • Ashleigh @ MyMeow
    March 22, 2016 at 8:13 am

    Twin. Twin. Twin. You’re two years behind where I was. Felt the same way. Kept changing jobs thinking that is what would make me happy. After a while you’re doing the same shit in a different location. I also found that once we decided not to have kids, life looks kind of empty, where as parenting sets you on a path. But guess what? It means you have more flexibility to take a risk without worrying about mouths to feed. We really sat down as a couple and talked about what we wanted our life to look like no kids and it helped. I think you need a substantial change like moving OR have you thought about working 3 days a week? It is a money cut but honestly you need TIME to pursue the things you are asking about. Otherwise years just pass. And you can always go back.
    Ashleigh @ MyMeow recently posted…The Dark Side of Easter – Ethical ChocolateMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 22, 2016 at 8:21 am

      In hindsight, I should have stuck to my old job and cut down days to four. I had even talked to my boss about it in October last year. Downside is Mr Imperfect lost his job in December last year and has not had consistent work so far in spite of applying to several jobs. Kinda means I’m the sole breadwinner. I took a school job hoping for school holidays and figuring that’d give me time to write. However, there were issues with my pay and after re-negotiating the contract, it’s now a regular job with 4 weeks annual leave. The downside is I feel like I should give this job at least 2 years before I jump ship. I’ll be 34 by then ? Decisions, decisions

  • Pinky Poinker
    March 22, 2016 at 8:52 am

    I’m like you. Travelling is not appealing because of my animals. I just made a permanent tree change so it feels like I’m on holidays but WITH my animals. You are very young and have every opportunity. You could always go part time for a while.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…Pinky Returns from the DeadMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:22 pm

      Tree change sounds great Pinky. Part time at this stage is not possible with a mortgage and just one stable income — maybe in a few years’ time, I’d consider it. Or another job that paid relatively the same amount for 4 days’ work.

  • Pinky Poinker
    March 22, 2016 at 8:52 am

    I’m like you. Travelling is not appealing because of my animals. I just made a permanent tree change so it feels like I’m on holidays but WITH my animals. You are very young and have every opportunity. You could always go part time for a while.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…Pinky Returns from the DeadMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:22 pm

      Tree change sounds great Pinky. Part time at this stage is not possible with a mortgage and just one stable income — maybe in a few years’ time, I’d consider it. Or another job that paid relatively the same amount for 4 days’ work.

  • Mia
    March 22, 2016 at 9:38 am

    I can absolutely relate. I felt that way during 2012 to the beginning of this year. For me, I thought moving up the career ladder and making more money and having more responsibility was going to be the answer. We’d have all this money and I’d know that I “made it.” The only thing it made me was MISERABLE. And like you, I didn’t have the time or energy to work out or write/blog. It was exhausting. I made a change last month and am working part time and I feel like the weight has been lifted. But I know that’s hard to do when you have 1 income. Hang in there. If you want to talk, vent, RAGE – I’m here. 🙂

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:23 pm

      Thanks Mia…I do think part-time is the option. Maybe in a year or two with another job that pays relatively the same amount. Until then, I might have to endure this and see what happens.

  • Mia
    March 22, 2016 at 9:38 am

    I can absolutely relate. I felt that way during 2012 to the beginning of this year. For me, I thought moving up the career ladder and making more money and having more responsibility was going to be the answer. We’d have all this money and I’d know that I “made it.” The only thing it made me was MISERABLE. And like you, I didn’t have the time or energy to work out or write/blog. It was exhausting. I made a change last month and am working part time and I feel like the weight has been lifted. But I know that’s hard to do when you have 1 income. Hang in there. If you want to talk, vent, RAGE – I’m here. 🙂

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:23 pm

      Thanks Mia…I do think part-time is the option. Maybe in a year or two with another job that pays relatively the same amount. Until then, I might have to endure this and see what happens.

  • Amy @ HandbagMafia
    March 22, 2016 at 10:07 am

    I made so many decisions young that I’ve handcuffed myself now in my mid 30s. I would love to move and to travel a little bit it’s just not on the table for a long while yet. You have a bit more freedom to wriggle- try it out. The sea change isn’t a foregone conclusion. You could look at other options?
    Amy @ HandbagMafia recently posted…I’m Tired Of Being A Feminist.My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:25 pm

      Yeah, I really need to figure things out. Guess I’m just tired of the rat race that’s headed nowhere…

  • Amy @ HandbagMafia
    March 22, 2016 at 10:07 am

    I made so many decisions young that I’ve handcuffed myself now in my mid 30s. I would love to move and to travel a little bit it’s just not on the table for a long while yet. You have a bit more freedom to wriggle- try it out. The sea change isn’t a foregone conclusion. You could look at other options?
    Amy @ HandbagMafia recently posted…I’m Tired Of Being A Feminist.My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:25 pm

      Yeah, I really need to figure things out. Guess I’m just tired of the rat race that’s headed nowhere…

  • Hugzilla
    March 22, 2016 at 10:21 am

    Oh mate, I hear you. Luckily for me the writing seems to be the thing I needed there. Even knowing that it won’t lead to fame and fortune, just doing it and putting it out there seems to be enough for me for now. It’s tough when that sense of meaning just doesn’t seem to be there x
    Hugzilla recently posted…Eight Women You Need to AVOID to Survive Mothers GroupMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:26 pm

      Thanks Hugzilla…that’s great that writing is giving you that sense of meaning. To be honest, helping people should be giving me that but I still feel like I’m not doing enough. Maybe I am burnt out. Maybe I just need a break from the profession before I get back to it.

  • Hugzilla
    March 22, 2016 at 10:21 am

    Oh mate, I hear you. Luckily for me the writing seems to be the thing I needed there. Even knowing that it won’t lead to fame and fortune, just doing it and putting it out there seems to be enough for me for now. It’s tough when that sense of meaning just doesn’t seem to be there x
    Hugzilla recently posted…Eight Women You Need to AVOID to Survive Mothers GroupMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:26 pm

      Thanks Hugzilla…that’s great that writing is giving you that sense of meaning. To be honest, helping people should be giving me that but I still feel like I’m not doing enough. Maybe I am burnt out. Maybe I just need a break from the profession before I get back to it.

  • Radhika @ Fulltime Nomad
    March 22, 2016 at 11:00 am

    I know how you feel as I was in this place a few years ago. My restlessness was borne from similar reasons too… questioning if this cycle (eat/sleep/work/repeat) was all there was to it. It honestly took a LOT of soul searching to come to my ultimate realisation that I wanted more freedom to travel and live abroad.

    We don’t want the same things but our end goals are the same I think – living a less stressful/more meaningful life.

    My advice to you? Don’t give yourself such a hard time about it! The questions you need answers to… can only be answered by you alone (very helpful advice, I know :P) but don’t tell yourself “It’s too late” or that you can’t start over because of your age or lack of experience or whatever. First step – if you want a change, commit yourself to making a change (even if you don’t know what the change is going to be, just yet).

    Spend some time thinking about the practical changes (even small ones) you can make in your life today/this week/this month/in the next 3 months etc that might help put you in a better frame of mind. If writing more is what you’d like to do right now, really focus on how you can make more time for it… working part time/moving/ writing evenings/weekends.

    From experience, I found – planning and actively thinking about even the smallest changes and implementing them is a lot more productive than wallowing in our worries & doubts of “it’s not possible” or “I could never do that” Your life is yours to control and you have much more power over it than you realise 🙂 The “having control” factor really helped it seem much less overwhelming for me.

    You know I am a huge advocate for living the life you truly want. I started over at 28 and while I’m still finding my way, I’m happier I did it and I am right here, cheering you on too. You can do it!
    Radhika @ Fulltime Nomad recently posted…From Desk Jockeys To Fulltime Nomads: Our Digital Nomad StoryMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:38 pm

      Thanks for the pep talk and the wise words Radhika! I think small steps are the way to go at the moment. Given it’s a new job, I can’t expect big changes right away. However, maybe in 12 to 18 months, the possibility of bigger changes may be more likely. Thanks again for knocking some practical sense into me 😀

  • Radhika @ Fulltime Nomad
    March 22, 2016 at 11:00 am

    I know how you feel as I was in this place a few years ago. My restlessness was borne from similar reasons too… questioning if this cycle (eat/sleep/work/repeat) was all there was to it. It honestly took a LOT of soul searching to come to my ultimate realisation that I wanted more freedom to travel and live abroad.

    We don’t want the same things but our end goals are the same I think – living a less stressful/more meaningful life.

    My advice to you? Don’t give yourself such a hard time about it! The questions you need answers to… can only be answered by you alone (very helpful advice, I know :P) but don’t tell yourself “It’s too late” or that you can’t start over because of your age or lack of experience or whatever. First step – if you want a change, commit yourself to making a change (even if you don’t know what the change is going to be, just yet).

    Spend some time thinking about the practical changes (even small ones) you can make in your life today/this week/this month/in the next 3 months etc that might help put you in a better frame of mind. If writing more is what you’d like to do right now, really focus on how you can make more time for it… working part time/moving/ writing evenings/weekends.

    From experience, I found – planning and actively thinking about even the smallest changes and implementing them is a lot more productive than wallowing in our worries & doubts of “it’s not possible” or “I could never do that” Your life is yours to control and you have much more power over it than you realise 🙂 The “having control” factor really helped it seem much less overwhelming for me.

    You know I am a huge advocate for living the life you truly want. I started over at 28 and while I’m still finding my way, I’m happier I did it and I am right here, cheering you on too. You can do it!
    Radhika @ Fulltime Nomad recently posted…From Desk Jockeys To Fulltime Nomads: Our Digital Nomad StoryMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:38 pm

      Thanks for the pep talk and the wise words Radhika! I think small steps are the way to go at the moment. Given it’s a new job, I can’t expect big changes right away. However, maybe in 12 to 18 months, the possibility of bigger changes may be more likely. Thanks again for knocking some practical sense into me 😀

  • Nabanita
    March 22, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    There are days when I don’t know what I’m doing..just last week I was feeling very upset because it has been 4 months since my maternityleave started.. I miss office and hate staying at home.. I can’t quite explain the feeling but I was feeling as if there was no point of anything..so S suggested I go out and clear my head ..it kind of worked..honestly I never planned to an engineer or to become a mother. I’m not one to give too much thought into things, just go with the flow is what I do..but there are days when I hate myself for not realising that writing is what I wanted to always persue and on those days I want to give up mu job..but then reality strikes abd I don’t do it.. I don’t know if what I said even helped you or made any sense at all..
    Nabanita recently posted…#MondayMusings – I Have Lost The Will To Clean!My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      Sounds like you are going through what I am. I think I mainly wanted to help adolescents which is why I became a psychologist. But now, 8 years on, I feel lost. It’s not giving me as much pleasure and meaning as it used to. I guess eventually, we find our way.

  • Nabanita
    March 22, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    There are days when I don’t know what I’m doing..just last week I was feeling very upset because it has been 4 months since my maternityleave started.. I miss office and hate staying at home.. I can’t quite explain the feeling but I was feeling as if there was no point of anything..so S suggested I go out and clear my head ..it kind of worked..honestly I never planned to an engineer or to become a mother. I’m not one to give too much thought into things, just go with the flow is what I do..but there are days when I hate myself for not realising that writing is what I wanted to always persue and on those days I want to give up mu job..but then reality strikes abd I don’t do it.. I don’t know if what I said even helped you or made any sense at all..
    Nabanita recently posted…#MondayMusings – I Have Lost The Will To Clean!My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      Sounds like you are going through what I am. I think I mainly wanted to help adolescents which is why I became a psychologist. But now, 8 years on, I feel lost. It’s not giving me as much pleasure and meaning as it used to. I guess eventually, we find our way.

  • EssentiallyJess
    March 22, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Lots of tough questions. Can the meaning of life ever be found though in anything that we actually do? Or is it more in what we believe, how we live and how we affect those around us? It seems to me that if you’re looking for the deeper meaning, a sea change is only going to satisfy for a little while before you will be asking the questions again.
    I don’t believe we are here just to work and socialise occasionally. But the question then becomes why are we here? For me the answer to that is God, which seems a simple answer when it’s not, but I’m not about to start preaching in the comment section of a blog. 🙂 I think you need to find the answer to that question for yourself, and then make changes based on what you come up with.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…The Best of Both Worlds. A Soppy #IBOT Post.My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      I hear you Jess but as someone who grew up in a relatively religious household, I could not find meaning in religion. I did think helping people — particularly teens — was my way of finding meaning in life. But somehow, that’s lost it’s shine or sense or something. Maybe I need to look at some other options where I can help — I have been contemplating moving into sexual assault or DV counselling but I’m not sure if given my current state of mind, I’ll be strong enough for that. The sea change probably is also to get away from the rat race that is currently driving me slightly nuts!

  • EssentiallyJess
    March 22, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Lots of tough questions. Can the meaning of life ever be found though in anything that we actually do? Or is it more in what we believe, how we live and how we affect those around us? It seems to me that if you’re looking for the deeper meaning, a sea change is only going to satisfy for a little while before you will be asking the questions again.
    I don’t believe we are here just to work and socialise occasionally. But the question then becomes why are we here? For me the answer to that is God, which seems a simple answer when it’s not, but I’m not about to start preaching in the comment section of a blog. 🙂 I think you need to find the answer to that question for yourself, and then make changes based on what you come up with.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…The Best of Both Worlds. A Soppy #IBOT Post.My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      I hear you Jess but as someone who grew up in a relatively religious household, I could not find meaning in religion. I did think helping people — particularly teens — was my way of finding meaning in life. But somehow, that’s lost it’s shine or sense or something. Maybe I need to look at some other options where I can help — I have been contemplating moving into sexual assault or DV counselling but I’m not sure if given my current state of mind, I’ll be strong enough for that. The sea change probably is also to get away from the rat race that is currently driving me slightly nuts!

  • Lata Sunil
    March 22, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    It is tough .. and you do sound exhausted to not being able to do things you love. Is the job situation going to improve or will you be doing the same thing at any other job? Well, at 32, I was juggling job, EMIs and 2 kids and thinking the same. But, there was not much I could do about it due to financial constraints. From my point of view, you are in a position to make changes with minimum damage. Try to make minor changes, one at a time, instead of going for a major change.

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      I’m hoping the job situation will improve Lata. The term ends in a couple of weeks and I’m hoping to catch up on a lot of paperwork over the 2 week holiday when I don’t see clients. Hopefully after that, my hours will seem more regular. I agree with minor changes to begin with and then moving on to bigger ones in 18-24 months time.

  • Lata Sunil
    March 22, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    It is tough .. and you do sound exhausted to not being able to do things you love. Is the job situation going to improve or will you be doing the same thing at any other job? Well, at 32, I was juggling job, EMIs and 2 kids and thinking the same. But, there was not much I could do about it due to financial constraints. From my point of view, you are in a position to make changes with minimum damage. Try to make minor changes, one at a time, instead of going for a major change.

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      March 28, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      I’m hoping the job situation will improve Lata. The term ends in a couple of weeks and I’m hoping to catch up on a lot of paperwork over the 2 week holiday when I don’t see clients. Hopefully after that, my hours will seem more regular. I agree with minor changes to begin with and then moving on to bigger ones in 18-24 months time.

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    March 22, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    Even doing my “dream” job and working from home, I still wonder sometimes “Is this all there is?”. Working -even though I love it – can be so tiring that I just blob out at night and then turn around and do it all over again the next day. I think the hubster feels it more than I do though, he has to drive 40 minutes to work so that must suck! At least in my own business I get to schedule my work and plan my hours.

    Hubby was about your age when he had his first “midlife crisis” – he took 6 months leave from his job and we travelled Australia in a caravan, as a result! It was great!!!

    Visiting today from #teamIBOT.
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…50 Reasons to Give FlowersMy Profile

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    March 22, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    Even doing my “dream” job and working from home, I still wonder sometimes “Is this all there is?”. Working -even though I love it – can be so tiring that I just blob out at night and then turn around and do it all over again the next day. I think the hubster feels it more than I do though, he has to drive 40 minutes to work so that must suck! At least in my own business I get to schedule my work and plan my hours.

    Hubby was about your age when he had his first “midlife crisis” – he took 6 months leave from his job and we travelled Australia in a caravan, as a result! It was great!!!

    Visiting today from #teamIBOT.
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…50 Reasons to Give FlowersMy Profile

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    March 22, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    As one who has had midlife crises every ten odd years since my late 20’s, I completely understand, Sanch. My advice (not that you asked for it) would be to follow what your heart is telling you. I did and though I’ve been down some scary roads, I have no regrets, and have always landed on my feet. I wish you all the strength and clarity to do what’s best for you. Hugs.

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    March 22, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    As one who has had midlife crises every ten odd years since my late 20’s, I completely understand, Sanch. My advice (not that you asked for it) would be to follow what your heart is telling you. I did and though I’ve been down some scary roads, I have no regrets, and have always landed on my feet. I wish you all the strength and clarity to do what’s best for you. Hugs.

  • Vanessa
    March 22, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    I have no idea what I’m meant to do. I know things I like but so far they don’t intersect with making money. Can you try different combinations of your skills – like looking at going part time or job share with some private practice, tutoring or lecturing? Maybe a combination would allow you the downtime you’re looking for.
    Vanessa recently posted…I Don’t Understand BonusesMy Profile

  • Vanessa
    March 22, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    I have no idea what I’m meant to do. I know things I like but so far they don’t intersect with making money. Can you try different combinations of your skills – like looking at going part time or job share with some private practice, tutoring or lecturing? Maybe a combination would allow you the downtime you’re looking for.
    Vanessa recently posted…I Don’t Understand BonusesMy Profile

  • Cathy@lifethroughthehaze
    March 22, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    Wow they are some really big questions. I think I haven’t ever really sat down and thought about any of these, I have always kind of fallen from one thing to another to another. But I have certainly been forever searching. I guess I would probably turn the psych in you on yourself. What would you do with someone who came to you with these questions? How would you get them to find their answers? What exercises would you do with them to help them find the answers for themselves? I am sure as a psychologist you are constantly doing personal development and I am sure you have heard of it but perhaps have a read of the Happiness Trap.

    Most importantly don’t give yourself a hard time about things and take each day as it comes.
    Cathy@lifethroughthehaze recently posted…7 things I haven’t told you about my anxietyMy Profile

  • Cathy@lifethroughthehaze
    March 22, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    Wow they are some really big questions. I think I haven’t ever really sat down and thought about any of these, I have always kind of fallen from one thing to another to another. But I have certainly been forever searching. I guess I would probably turn the psych in you on yourself. What would you do with someone who came to you with these questions? How would you get them to find their answers? What exercises would you do with them to help them find the answers for themselves? I am sure as a psychologist you are constantly doing personal development and I am sure you have heard of it but perhaps have a read of the Happiness Trap.

    Most importantly don’t give yourself a hard time about things and take each day as it comes.
    Cathy@lifethroughthehaze recently posted…7 things I haven’t told you about my anxietyMy Profile

  • JF Gibson
    March 22, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    I had a mid-life crisis of sorts when I was quite young, about 25. Long story short, twelve months later I was divorced and had totally changed my life more or less. Then about 8 years ago at the age of 32 I had another mini-crisis and changed career paths, leading me to where I am now.
    I know it doesn’t really help, but I think every step leads you to where you are meant to be. It’s finding the direction that is the hard part. Do you listen to the Minimalists podcast? I’ve started listening to them only recently and have found nuggets of wisdom in every episode. It’s not only about decluttering and living with less, it goes a lot deeper than that. Maybe it’s a start to get you asking more questions to find what it is that is gnawing at you.

  • JF Gibson
    March 22, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    I had a mid-life crisis of sorts when I was quite young, about 25. Long story short, twelve months later I was divorced and had totally changed my life more or less. Then about 8 years ago at the age of 32 I had another mini-crisis and changed career paths, leading me to where I am now.
    I know it doesn’t really help, but I think every step leads you to where you are meant to be. It’s finding the direction that is the hard part. Do you listen to the Minimalists podcast? I’ve started listening to them only recently and have found nuggets of wisdom in every episode. It’s not only about decluttering and living with less, it goes a lot deeper than that. Maybe it’s a start to get you asking more questions to find what it is that is gnawing at you.

  • Venice
    March 22, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    I’ve been in a similar crisis since the past 3 years and it’s still on. Whenever I feel stuck, I jot down pros and cons of the situation and of other options before me. Whichever has more pros and doesn’t go against my heart, I go with that choice. Things have improved little by little by doing this. Take a breather and just make a mind-map of what you need in your life, not want, need. Hopefully this will help you in your decision process. Cheerio and keep your chin up, girl!

  • Venice
    March 22, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    I’ve been in a similar crisis since the past 3 years and it’s still on. Whenever I feel stuck, I jot down pros and cons of the situation and of other options before me. Whichever has more pros and doesn’t go against my heart, I go with that choice. Things have improved little by little by doing this. Take a breather and just make a mind-map of what you need in your life, not want, need. Hopefully this will help you in your decision process. Cheerio and keep your chin up, girl!

  • Zita
    March 22, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    It’s as if I could have written this myself!! I have just had a text conversation with a friend about this exact thing as I am still no wiser as to what to do with my life, almost 18 months after walking away and my biggest fear is that I am going to have to go back as I have nothing else and can’t live off air…. 🙁
    Zita recently posted…New York regretsMy Profile

  • Zita
    March 22, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    It’s as if I could have written this myself!! I have just had a text conversation with a friend about this exact thing as I am still no wiser as to what to do with my life, almost 18 months after walking away and my biggest fear is that I am going to have to go back as I have nothing else and can’t live off air…. 🙁
    Zita recently posted…New York regretsMy Profile

  • Shannon@ my2morrows
    March 23, 2016 at 8:32 am

    Oh Sanch… I know exactly how you are feeling. I’ve felt this way for a while now too and really wish I’d gone down a different career path. It’s really challenging to change careers at age 38 with 2 kids, 2 mortgages, a Labrador and a hubby with a deteriorating vision condition. I know it’s possible but so so challenging. I’ve had to change my mind set a bit and find positives in the slog of it all to keep me going. I’m also exploring getting a career coach/life coach. Have you gone down that path? Xx

  • Shannon@ my2morrows
    March 23, 2016 at 8:32 am

    Oh Sanch… I know exactly how you are feeling. I’ve felt this way for a while now too and really wish I’d gone down a different career path. It’s really challenging to change careers at age 38 with 2 kids, 2 mortgages, a Labrador and a hubby with a deteriorating vision condition. I know it’s possible but so so challenging. I’ve had to change my mind set a bit and find positives in the slog of it all to keep me going. I’m also exploring getting a career coach/life coach. Have you gone down that path? Xx

  • deeps
    March 23, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    some crisis of this sort just push us to make the best of decisions and pull us out of our ‘comfort zones’ 🙂 …

  • deeps
    March 23, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    some crisis of this sort just push us to make the best of decisions and pull us out of our ‘comfort zones’ 🙂 …

  • Aathira
    March 24, 2016 at 4:00 am

    I have gone through the dilemmas you have mentioned and I guess it can be called as something of a quarter life crisis. I think that’s the problem when you are faced with options. Writing is a part of us, being a writer is who I am. The choice may not be easy, but if something is draining away all your energy, quit it. Be it a job or even people. I did and today I am glad that I made that choice.
    Aathira recently posted…Theme Reveal for the A to Z Challenge 2016My Profile

  • Aathira
    March 24, 2016 at 4:00 am

    I have gone through the dilemmas you have mentioned and I guess it can be called as something of a quarter life crisis. I think that’s the problem when you are faced with options. Writing is a part of us, being a writer is who I am. The choice may not be easy, but if something is draining away all your energy, quit it. Be it a job or even people. I did and today I am glad that I made that choice.
    Aathira recently posted…Theme Reveal for the A to Z Challenge 2016My Profile

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