Life lessons

Worst advice ever #FridayReflections

Have you ever noticed how people just love to give advice? It’s like opinions. Everyone thinks they have a right to share their opinion regardless of where they are or the impact of it. In a similar vein, every Tom, Dick and Sally loves to dish out their advice for a whole lot of things.

I’ve had my fair share of advice over the years. Some of it has been useful. Stuff like ‘always stay true to yourself.’ Or ‘make sure you are financially independent.’ Or the time when someone told me ‘you have to be in it to win it‘ when I was on the verge of giving up looking for jobs.

But I’ve also had a lot of bad advice. Advice that has made me roll my eyes or scream in my head. Like the time some well-wishers in India told me not to laugh too loudly because it’s vulgar for a girl to do so. Or that I should stop playing in the sun as it made me too dark. Or the time when I was told how to be more ladylike. Then there was the advice or rather, the opinion of an Indian colleague a few years ago. She told me I’d have to compromise and wear clothes my husband would want me to wear. Like that’s ever going to happen! Needless to say, there was no eye rolling or screaming in my head. There was just ranting.

While it’s hard to decide what’s been the worst advice ever, a recent one is fresh in my mind. Earlier this year, I needed to get my eyebrows threaded and went to one of those Brow Bars at my local shopping centre. In the previous years, I used to get them done by a lady close to my work who had a beauty parlour in her house. Ah ethnics! Got to love ’em! Anyway, so I step into this Brow Bar and it’s an Indian lady threading eyebrows. So I asked her to do mine and she did. She actually wasn’t great at it and managed to cut me a little and blamed me for not holding my lids straight. But that wasn’t the worst of it. She then decided to offer me some very valuable advice after threading my eyebrows.

You should thread your face so you won’t look so dark anymore‘ was her advice. And she asked me if I wanted her to do that for me.

Er. No. Thanks.

Basically, she just called me a hairy beast {which from what I checked, I’m not} or the usual Indian crap of being too dark and ergo, ugly.

So yeah, that takes the cake for me.

I haven’t had my eyebrows done since because I don’t trust going back there. I just need another ethnic like the previous lady with a salon in her house!

What’s the worst advice you’ve ever got?

Do share!!!

Living my Imperfect Life

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Write Tribe and yours truly give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Prompts for this week:

  1. Top parenting tips
  2. What is the biggest motivating factor for you?
  3. What’s the worst advice you’ve heard?
  4. ‘Anyone can slay a dragon’, he told me, ‘but try waking up every morning and loving the world again. That’s what takes a real hero’. – Brian Andreas
  5. Picture Prompt (picture courtesy Sanch)

swing130516

Our featured writer for last week was Mithila Menzes who told us about the joy of baking!

Join in on Friday Reflections for this week here:


***Also linking up with Grace for FYBF***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

SANCH_sig1

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  • Jody at Six Little Hearts
    May 13, 2016 at 7:06 am

    Oh that’s TERRIBLE! Some real cultural doozies there! Sorry you have had to endure those.
    I was once indirectly insulted by an Indian woman at a perfume counter at a local chemist who told me I had too many wrinkles for my age compared to her. I wanted to point out that perhaps it was because she was very overweight and I wasn’t! Anyway, people say the silliest things.
    Jody at Six Little Hearts recently posted…A Special Mother’s Day Event with Holden and Kids Business Communications at Oakridge Winery – ReviewMy Profile

  • Jody at Six Little Hearts
    May 13, 2016 at 7:06 am

    Oh that’s TERRIBLE! Some real cultural doozies there! Sorry you have had to endure those.
    I was once indirectly insulted by an Indian woman at a perfume counter at a local chemist who told me I had too many wrinkles for my age compared to her. I wanted to point out that perhaps it was because she was very overweight and I wasn’t! Anyway, people say the silliest things.
    Jody at Six Little Hearts recently posted…A Special Mother’s Day Event with Holden and Kids Business Communications at Oakridge Winery – ReviewMy Profile

  • Lydia C. Lee
    May 13, 2016 at 7:18 am

    Will try to get something done next week – fab to learn of this link up
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted…ReflectionMy Profile

  • Lydia C. Lee
    May 13, 2016 at 7:18 am

    Will try to get something done next week – fab to learn of this link up
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted…ReflectionMy Profile

  • Amy @ HandbagMafia
    May 13, 2016 at 7:23 am

    That’s awful!
    I’ve had beauticians try to push me into waxing everything which is not gonna happen! The advice I keep getting is to get into the housing market. Duh. Like, how, exactly? Are they going to give me the deposit?
    Amy @ HandbagMafia recently posted…Undies. Period Undies.My Profile

  • Amy @ HandbagMafia
    May 13, 2016 at 7:23 am

    That’s awful!
    I’ve had beauticians try to push me into waxing everything which is not gonna happen! The advice I keep getting is to get into the housing market. Duh. Like, how, exactly? Are they going to give me the deposit?
    Amy @ HandbagMafia recently posted…Undies. Period Undies.My Profile

  • Raychael Case
    May 13, 2016 at 9:24 am

    That’s just awful. The worst or most hurtful advice thrown my way, usually comes from my own mother.
    Raychael Case recently posted…Signature Style – Where to start!My Profile

  • Raychael Case
    May 13, 2016 at 9:24 am

    That’s just awful. The worst or most hurtful advice thrown my way, usually comes from my own mother.
    Raychael Case recently posted…Signature Style – Where to start!My Profile

  • Tory
    May 13, 2016 at 9:56 am

    I regularly get told by hairdressers that I should lighten my auburn hair because it makes me look ‘frumpy’ the one time I did, they got rid of all the red so I was just blonde. I hated it 🙁
    Tory recently posted…Comment on PopSugar Reading Challenge: A Book Translated Into English by Minted RogueMy Profile

  • Tory
    May 13, 2016 at 9:56 am

    I regularly get told by hairdressers that I should lighten my auburn hair because it makes me look ‘frumpy’ the one time I did, they got rid of all the red so I was just blonde. I hated it 🙁
    Tory recently posted…Comment on PopSugar Reading Challenge: A Book Translated Into English by Minted RogueMy Profile

  • Sunila Vig
    May 13, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Haaaa your post had me rolling my eyes all through and in the end I think my eyes had given up and just froze…..I have come across loads of good advice and crappy unasked for advice, all of us do but I cant really figure the best or the worst since there have been many both ways 🙂

    http://sunilavigauthor.blogspot.com.au/2016/05/returning-to-elements-short-reflection.html

  • Sunila Vig
    May 13, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Haaaa your post had me rolling my eyes all through and in the end I think my eyes had given up and just froze…..I have come across loads of good advice and crappy unasked for advice, all of us do but I cant really figure the best or the worst since there have been many both ways 🙂

    http://sunilavigauthor.blogspot.com.au/2016/05/returning-to-elements-short-reflection.html

  • Deborah
    May 13, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    I think it’s the unsolicited advice that pisses me off the most Sanch. I’ll often ask questions of people (in blog posts or IRL) but it irks me when someone feels compelled to offer advice when you haven’t asked for it.

    My mum – god bless her – is the perfect example. I know she has my best interests at heart but hers usually comes in the form of concern….
    Deborah recently posted…Things I don’t get about plus-sized clothingMy Profile

  • Deborah
    May 13, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    I think it’s the unsolicited advice that pisses me off the most Sanch. I’ll often ask questions of people (in blog posts or IRL) but it irks me when someone feels compelled to offer advice when you haven’t asked for it.

    My mum – god bless her – is the perfect example. I know she has my best interests at heart but hers usually comes in the form of concern….
    Deborah recently posted…Things I don’t get about plus-sized clothingMy Profile

  • Leanne
    May 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    People are so insensitive – I think she was just trying to build more business by getting you to use more of her threading and pay her more money. The fact that she was so awful shows how little she really values her clients as human beings. I’m coming to the point of life where I don’t get much advice – my thing to remember is to be careful not to give too much out – wisdom is not wisdom if it’s unwanted!

  • Leanne
    May 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    People are so insensitive – I think she was just trying to build more business by getting you to use more of her threading and pay her more money. The fact that she was so awful shows how little she really values her clients as human beings. I’m coming to the point of life where I don’t get much advice – my thing to remember is to be careful not to give too much out – wisdom is not wisdom if it’s unwanted!

  • Parul
    May 13, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    That’s terrible. Such a sad one. I have also received many pieces of advice that did not resonate with me. One that tops is , “You should see a counsellor” This was when I mentioned I want to remain childfree. :/
    Parul recently posted…Of Writing and Raison D’êtreMy Profile

  • Parul
    May 13, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    That’s terrible. Such a sad one. I have also received many pieces of advice that did not resonate with me. One that tops is , “You should see a counsellor” This was when I mentioned I want to remain childfree. :/
    Parul recently posted…Of Writing and Raison D’êtreMy Profile

  • Nabanita Dhar
    May 13, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    Some people just don’t know where their limits are…I have got too many to even count…Many during my pregnancy and now that I’m a mom…I try and ignore as much as possible..
    Nabanita Dhar recently posted…#MommyTalks – Will I Be A Good Mother?My Profile

  • Nabanita Dhar
    May 13, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    Some people just don’t know where their limits are…I have got too many to even count…Many during my pregnancy and now that I’m a mom…I try and ignore as much as possible..
    Nabanita Dhar recently posted…#MommyTalks – Will I Be A Good Mother?My Profile

  • sue
    May 13, 2016 at 4:20 pm

    Oh Sanch that would be great for the ego I’m sure! I remember when my daughter was pregnant everyone had advice but I refuse to give advice unless I’m asked. We all think we know it all and in fact I’ve actually learned so much about parenting from her – a little late perhaps but I can try it out on my grandson. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face! #FridayReflections.
    sue recently posted…Top tips for Spring Cleaning Your Home and Your LifeMy Profile

  • sue
    May 13, 2016 at 4:20 pm

    Oh Sanch that would be great for the ego I’m sure! I remember when my daughter was pregnant everyone had advice but I refuse to give advice unless I’m asked. We all think we know it all and in fact I’ve actually learned so much about parenting from her – a little late perhaps but I can try it out on my grandson. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face! #FridayReflections.
    sue recently posted…Top tips for Spring Cleaning Your Home and Your LifeMy Profile

  • Deepti Agrawal
    May 13, 2016 at 5:41 pm

    Haha.. m still laughing with all the advice you mentioned is given to every girl here in India… But now times are changing..
    As far as eye brow threading goes.. same pinch .. as even i abandoned this scary therapy for beautifying myself.. onlyy because of those sane/insane advice given to me from time to time..

    http://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.in/2016/05/celebrations.html

  • Deepti Agrawal
    May 13, 2016 at 5:41 pm

    Haha.. m still laughing with all the advice you mentioned is given to every girl here in India… But now times are changing..
    As far as eye brow threading goes.. same pinch .. as even i abandoned this scary therapy for beautifying myself.. onlyy because of those sane/insane advice given to me from time to time..

    http://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.in/2016/05/celebrations.html

  • Kathy
    May 13, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Poor you. I haven’t received too much unwelcome advice – but the unsolicited comments we’ve had about our children being adopted! Yep, some doozies over the years. I first had my eyebrows threaded by a Persian lady (well she was Canadian but was born in Iran) and she was very good. This was in Canada. My eyebrows now are sadly lacking in shape as I’m not getting them threaded and my sister does tend to point out the chin hairs I can also be rather lax in plucking out (I am lucky though in the grooming department as my hair is rather fair). Maybe I should send my sister your post.

  • Kathy
    May 13, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Poor you. I haven’t received too much unwelcome advice – but the unsolicited comments we’ve had about our children being adopted! Yep, some doozies over the years. I first had my eyebrows threaded by a Persian lady (well she was Canadian but was born in Iran) and she was very good. This was in Canada. My eyebrows now are sadly lacking in shape as I’m not getting them threaded and my sister does tend to point out the chin hairs I can also be rather lax in plucking out (I am lucky though in the grooming department as my hair is rather fair). Maybe I should send my sister your post.

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    May 13, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    Oh I’ve had my share of advice in my single years and even an offer to join a convent for ‘security’. Since you mentioned salons, it’s very rare for hair stylists not to tell me to color my hair to hide my greys!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…The Day I Was Born #FTSFMy Profile

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    May 13, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    Oh I’ve had my share of advice in my single years and even an offer to join a convent for ‘security’. Since you mentioned salons, it’s very rare for hair stylists not to tell me to color my hair to hide my greys!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…The Day I Was Born #FTSFMy Profile

  • Aditi
    May 13, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    I’ve never got my eyebrows or even upper lip done, and the amount of times I’ve been told “You ought to!” Huh!
    Also the one remark that irks me is when I tell people that I want to remain child free is “You’ll regret it later” or “Who’ll take care of you when you are old” :-/
    Aditi recently posted…#CanterburyTales A Day trip from London #PhotoFridayMy Profile

  • Aditi
    May 13, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    I’ve never got my eyebrows or even upper lip done, and the amount of times I’ve been told “You ought to!” Huh!
    Also the one remark that irks me is when I tell people that I want to remain child free is “You’ll regret it later” or “Who’ll take care of you when you are old” :-/
    Aditi recently posted…#CanterburyTales A Day trip from London #PhotoFridayMy Profile

  • A ‘work-in-progress’ parent #FridayReflections – the bespectacled mother
    May 14, 2016 at 12:16 am

    […] Linking this post to #FridayReflections hosted by Writetribe and Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life. […]

  • Mahathi Ramya
    May 14, 2016 at 12:57 am

    mm.. worst advice ever! A few people feel they have a right to comment on anything and don’t even think how others will feel about the comment. I think, they will know only when someone comments them in a harsh way 🙂

  • Dipannita
    May 14, 2016 at 2:39 am

    Horrible advice….Maybe the person is jealous…

  • Melissa {Suger}
    May 14, 2016 at 10:10 am

    Oh man, bad advice, sheeesh. Sometimes I wonder if people have a filter at all. Especially when it comes to providing unsolicited, unwanted advice to virtual strangers. The worst advice I’ve ever received? that I should be grateful I miscarried because obviously something wasn’t right and well, who’d want to deal with THAT forever, right? I’m not sure which part of that gem annoyed me more. Still now, like 5 years later.

  • Bellybytes
    May 15, 2016 at 6:34 am

    Gosh! We Indians have such a things about being dark . One of my uncles in law actually called my little girl an” African ‘ ( actually he used an uglier word which is umentionable these days) . Luckily she didn’t bother and grew up without a thought about her colour ( which I might add is something I don’t bother about)

  • Vinay Leo R.
    May 16, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    Like you rightly said, people around me love to give advice too, and they give them so often, I’ve at times contemplated to compile them into a book titled, “1001 Worthless Gems” 😛 The worst advice I feel is someone telling me to stop reading novels and read only academic books, as reading novels is, according to them, a waste of time. Giving them a piece of my mind is like explaining philosophy to a cow. So I ignore and move on.
    Vinay Leo R. recently posted…Forgotten, Unforgotten… #FridayReflectionsMy Profile

  • Grace
    May 17, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    People can be just so awfully rude!!! I’ve had the whole “don’t go out in the sun too much because you don’t want to get darker” advice. Then you have kids and people, random strangers are FULL of unsolicited advice and opinions.
    Grace recently posted…FYBF – Questions for BenMy Profile

  • Sandy Mangis
    May 18, 2016 at 2:30 am

    I loved this. Talk about a horrible experience. And who wants to be ladylike, lets just be who we are. I love the outdoors and I am a farm girl through and through. You tell em. I loved this……

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