Half a year has gone by in what seems like the blink of an eye. Yet, I feel exhausted like I normally do towards the end of the year. In the first week of July, it’s a good time for me to look back at the goals I’d set myself for this year to see how things have been going.
In January this year, I chose a word for myself: Kind.
My goals were simple. Achievable. Or so I thought.
Kind to others:
I have so far failed in being more patient and valuing people in my life. Partly I blame the depression. Partly the exhaustion of 2016.
In terms of connecting, I’ll be honest that again, the depression has made me disconnected from others. I have avoided people I know more so than strangers. While I have connected with strangers by striking up conversations in person or online, it hasn’t been easy with those I know.
I have volunteered as a cat foster coordinator but work on that front is slow and consequently, I feel like I haven’t done much yet.
Kind to myself:
Okay, so this one is so far failing miserably!
15 minutes writing each day: Hah! Although, having said that, I did start a writing blog which I have been working on this last week or so. Do follow my blog and like its Facebook page if you’re interested.
Not allowing others to affect how I feel: Snigger
And I wondered why my depression got so bad this year!
Kind to my body:
My junk intake actually increased this year — it was correlated with a decline in my mood. I am still trying hard to eat healthy but it can fluctuate a fair bit.
Exercising has also been tough this year. I’ve not been motivated. I’ve gained weight. It’s been bloody cold. Work is shit and hours suck. Although, since yoga started at my gym in April, I have been fairly consistent with that.
Sleep has been crap! There were some weeks when I got 7 to 8 hours but other times when it was as bad as 5 hours on average. Plus, when my mood was really bad, my sleep was quite restless.
So yeah, looks like I’m doing pretty poorly on all fronts six months into this year. My reading goals have been going quite well, though so that’s a plus!
Interestingly, when I saw my therapist last week, we talked about setting achievable goals so I could feel a sense of satisfaction. So I could feel good enough. It makes me wonder whether the above goals were not really achievable in the context of mental health issues. Sure, when I set them, I was optimistic but little did I know then my mental health would deteriorate the way it has.
In that regard, for the rest of the year, I might try and focus on being kind to myself. That self-compassion bit there — that’s something I really need to work on. Because depression makes me do the opposite. It evokes self-pity but also awakens the self-critical me. It’s a weird cycle that only hurts me further.
How have you gone with your goals for 2016?
Any tips on how to be more self-compassionate?
Until next time,