Life

2016 goals: Time to check in

Half a year has gone by in what seems like the blink of an eye. Yet, I feel exhausted like I normally do towards the end of the year. In the first week of July, it’s a good time for me to look back at the goals I’d set myself for this year to see how things have been going.

In January this year, I chose a word for myself: Kind.

My goals were simple. Achievable. Or so I thought.

Kind to others:

I have so far failed in being more patient and valuing people in my life. Partly I blame the depression. Partly the exhaustion of 2016.

In terms of connecting, I’ll be honest that again, the depression has made me disconnected from others. I have avoided people I know more so than strangers. While I have connected with strangers by striking up conversations in person or online, it hasn’t been easy with those I know.

I have volunteered as a cat foster coordinator but work on that front is slow and consequently, I feel like I haven’t done much yet.

Kind to myself:

Okay, so this one is so far failing miserably!

Self-compassion: Nada

Mindfulness: Nil

15 minutes writing each day: Hah! Although, having said that, I did start a writing blog which I have been working on this last week or so. Do follow my blog and like its Facebook page if you’re interested.

Not allowing others to affect how I feel: Snigger

And I wondered why my depression got so bad this year!

Kind to my body:

My junk intake actually increased this year — it was correlated with a decline in my mood. I am still trying hard to eat healthy but it can fluctuate a fair bit.

Exercising has also been tough this year. I’ve not been motivated. I’ve gained weight. It’s been bloody cold. Work is shit and hours suck. Although, since yoga started at my gym in April, I have been fairly consistent with that.

Sleep has been crap! There were some weeks when I got 7 to 8 hours but other times when it was as bad as 5 hours on average. Plus, when my mood was really bad, my sleep was quite restless.

So yeah, looks like I’m doing pretty poorly on all fronts six months into this year. My reading goals have been going quite well, though so that’s a plus!

Interestingly, when I saw my therapist last week, we talked about setting achievable goals so I could feel a sense of satisfaction. So I could feel good enough. It makes me wonder whether the above goals were not really achievable in the context of mental health issues. Sure, when I set them, I was optimistic but little did I know then my mental health would deteriorate the way it has.

In that regard, for the rest of the year, I might try and focus on being kind to myself. That self-compassion bit there — that’s something I really need to work on. Because depression makes me do the opposite. It evokes self-pity but also awakens the self-critical me. It’s a weird cycle that only hurts me further.

How have you gone with your goals for 2016? 

Any tips on how to be more self-compassionate? 

Do share!

***Linking with Kirsty for I Must Confess, Alicia for Open Slather and Mackenzie for MG***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

SANCH_sig1

 

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  • Vanessa
    July 4, 2016 at 8:42 am

    Do you perhaps need physical/visual reminders to be kind to yourself? A goal to spend $5/week on something selfish and for you as a way of focusing on being kind to yourself?
    A scarf from Kmart, a rose on your way home, a hot chocolate with ALL THE TRIMMINGS… something that you know you have to do for you…
    Vanessa recently posted…2016s GoalsMy Profile

  • Tory
    July 4, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Being kind to ourselves is one of the most difficult things we do. Good luck with it buddy. It’s great that you’ve recognized it. I love Vanessa’s idea. Sometimes putting a dollar value on it can make it easier and more achieveable.
    Tory recently posted…How You Doin? Mid Year Goal Check InMy Profile

  • Jess
    July 4, 2016 at 9:23 am

    Love the therapists suggestion of rethinking your goals to be more achievable, you can always increase them later! Just by evaluating thing and reflecting, you are already doing a great job. It’s such a shitty cycle with the self criticism, you don’t deserve that Sanch, I’m sorry you feel stuck. I hope The second half of 2016 is much kinder to you xx
    Jess recently posted…5 steps to stay mentally healthy as an entrepreneurMy Profile

  • Tegan
    July 4, 2016 at 10:27 am

    I struggle with being kind to myself too. I find that a short sharp phrase in my mind helps to stop the self critical head talk in it’s tracks. I need to be more consistent with it though, because as my psych says, our mind are like toddlers when we are consistent with bringing the negative talk into line.
    Tegan recently posted…A day in the life of AnxietyMy Profile

  • Ashleigh - mymeow.com.au
    July 4, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    You could be my twin this week. I’ve been struggling with my goals, particularly health and fitness. I am the heaviest I have ever been, and I know eating crap and not training is not good for my mental health. So that is my aim for the next half of the year. Totally agree with what you said about travel to work in particular. It is hard. July feels like a new start.
    Ashleigh – mymeow.com.au recently posted…June Reflections: Coming home to Bali, Turning 35 and a New Job!My Profile

  • the frenchie mummy
    July 4, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    The goals you got yourself are so difficult to fully achieve! Don’t be too harsh on yourself. You seemed to have already made some progress. I am not sure I could say the same about myself…
    #mg

  • Michelle
    July 4, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    I have also struggled with the fitness part of it this year. I started out doing great but then got sidetracked with all of the other goals I made for myself this year. I have accomplished 2 out of the 5 I set for myself so far. I like Vanessa’s idea of buying yourself a little something like chocolate or a rose, or both if you want. When I’m really stressed, I put on my headphones, lay down in my bed for an hour or two and just listen to music. It’s also what I do when I’m depressed. It comforts me but we all have different things we do to help ourselves. When I start to put myself down, my former therapist had taught me to immediately remind myself of my strengths and how far I’ve come. That seems to work for me. Lovely post! #mg

  • Geraldine
    July 4, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    We always leave ourselves to last don’t we. I’ve zero advice because I would probably have failed on a goals list if I had one!
    #mg

  • Ness
    July 4, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    I’m struggling with eating well, too. You’d think this would be my top priority after a brush with cancer, but no I’m just comfort eating. When it comes to self-compassion I think we need to constantly remind ourselves that we would never judge or treat a friend the same way, but it’s not easy. It’s great that you’ve started a writing blog.

  • Raych
    July 4, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    I need to work on being kind to myself. I feel like I’m failing on all fronts right now but looking forward to some light at the end of a very long tunnel soon.
    Raych recently posted…Goals – Aussie Giveaway Linkup JulyMy Profile

  • Denyse
    July 4, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    I hear you on how the mind chatters away telling you even more crap. Being as kind to me as I am to others is something I am learning more. It takes time!! I am impatient. Have you done any work with ACT? The books by Dr Russ Harris are very helpful in turning some of the mind rubbish off and getting some values that are important to you integrated in your life. I suspect ‘not being happy in your work’ is going a long way to the ‘why’ of a crappy (to date!) 2016. I am not a therapist..just a work in progress. Love to you. D xx
    Denyse recently posted…Goals for 2016. My Progress. 366/186.My Profile

  • Natalie @ Our Parallel Connection
    July 4, 2016 at 7:57 pm

    Ranch be kind to yourself at least. The only one who can help you is you. Give yourself a break. You will never regret being kind.
    Natalie @ Our Parallel Connection recently posted…You are enoughMy Profile

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    July 4, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Depression throws everything out the window so don’t be too hard on yourself. I think you should definitely concentrate on being kind to yourself – make it a priority to have time for yourself to write or read or just be. Schedule time for yourself either at the start or end of your day and make it non-negotiable. I also love Vanessa’s suggestions for visual reminders too. Good luck with being kind to yourself Sanch x
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Will I meet my 2016 goals? #imustconfessMy Profile

  • Mackenzie Glanville
    July 4, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    I feel you honey, thats elf critical talk is so hard to change especially when mental illness is involved. Just keep going forward gently, little steps, little acts of kindness. Depression is so hard to fight, but it is beatable, you can and will come out on the other side never give up on yourself! Much love my friend xx #mg
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…Discovering your purposeMy Profile

  • Linda
    July 4, 2016 at 11:16 pm

    I agree with Kirsty, depression does throw everything out the window I think. I have several friends struggling with it at the moment, and from an outside perspective I can see how difficult and overwhelming it looks to be, and I can’t imagine how they cope. I also have no doubt that however hard it looks to be for me, it’s probably ten times harder to live through. I was just thinking about the whole topic of being kind to ourselves today as I wrote my latest post! I also love this quote I found a few days ago…. ‘Self care is not selfish or self indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, then we can give from our surplus, our abundance’. (Jennifer Louden). I hope you find time in the second half of the year to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. xox Linda.

  • Lisa@Intotheglade
    July 4, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    Ah being kind to yourself is surely one the most difficult to achieve, I like the idea of visual reminders. Maybe you could set up an Instagram account just for your daily treats, then you could look back on them for inspiration and regular posting might act as a reminder – just a thought – what do I know eh?! Take care Lovely xxx #mg

  • Sid
    July 5, 2016 at 12:05 am

    Aww! Don’t feel bad. You have the rest of the year to look forward to; and maybe knock the socks off of some of those things you had set as your goals.
    As the others said, maybe a visual reminder will help. Hugs and hope you’ll rediscover all the ‘kindness’ that you had decided to spread in the world.
    Sid recently posted…I promise. Do you ?My Profile

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    July 5, 2016 at 10:15 am

    Yup I hear ya on the needing to exercise – just can’t be @rsed 😉 . What’s it like as a therapist to go to therapy? Do you find yourself second guessing what questions they are going to ask, what strategies they are going to use?
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…Going Back to Work after Having KidsMy Profile

  • alicia - One Mother Hen
    July 5, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    My word was ‘brave’. I have been a little braver and taken myself out of my comfort zone, only a little, and nothing bad really happened!
    You should take it easier on yourself. Be kind.
    I have only this year realised that I DO need to be kind to myself. I am amazing and I do not need to feel guilty about giving myself a break. You are amazing too x
    Your therapist is on to something. I was only thinking the other day if I kept the lists I make almost everyday and looked back on what I DID get done, I’d be patting myself on the back!
    alicia – One Mother Hen recently posted…Out of the mouth of babesMy Profile

  • Vishal Bheeroo
    July 5, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    It’s in June that things has finally started to shape for me from a professional and spiritual point of view. There are so many things that we need to work as human beings and am on a self improvement mode. Need to shed the fat, cut sugar and smoke, exercise better. Wishing you well:)
    Vishal Bheeroo recently posted…Fiction: Come and kill friendship, you emasculated terror force!My Profile

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