All about the mind

My worst habit

Like every one else on this planet, I am imperfect. I have several bad habits. I pick my skin around my nails when I’m stressed. I bite my lip when I’m nervous. I eat junk food to comfort myself sometimes. I swear when I’m angry. A lot.

But there’s one habit of mine I truly detest. It’s unfortunately something I’m experiencing even at the moment. It’s catastrophising to the point of becoming indecisive.

Now, I’m not normally an indecisive person. I made up my mind about buying my unit pretty quickly. I decided I wanted to go to Australia for further studies in a jiffy. I think on my feet regarding my clients’ issues in therapy sometimes.

Yet, there are some decisions in my life that drive me crazy.

Like at the moment, I know I am not happy in my job. I know I want out. But do you know what? I’m constantly umming and ahhing about where to next. I have been thinking about private practice. Not my own but in someone else’s as a contractor. I reckon it would be flexible enough to help me focus on writing too. But then my mind goes into meltdown about all the things that could go wrong. Then I think maybe I should go back to the health system. But I overthink and wonder if it’s back to where I used to be. Result? Indecisive. Finally, I wonder whether I should do something completely different. NGO, perhaps? But then all the other things that could go wrong bug me.

Then there’s my living situation. Regular readers will know that I’ve been contemplating since last year whether I should move away from Sydney. The traffic has been bugging me. More recently, the lack of connections has really gotten me down. Until last year I was mainly thinking about the South Coast of NSW. But lately, I have been exploring options such as the Central Coast of NSW or even the Sunshine Coast in Queensland or Cairns. Realistically, I might stick to NSW but then, my mind goes into catastrophe-mode and I think of all the things that could go wrong. And all the things I would miss. Because I still do love the area of Sydney I live in. If I worked here too, maybe I’d be okay. Of course, there’d still be the whole ‘lack-of-connections’ thing.

What all this overthinking and catastrophising does is that it makes me so very indecisive. I cannot seem to stick to one thing. One moment I might think one option is what I should go with and the very next day, I’ve changed my mind. I get it’s the fear of the unknown. But then again, I left home at 21 and moved to a brand new country where I knew no one. How in the world did I do that back then? And now, at 32, why is it so much harder to stick to something no matter how scary it might seem?

I have been trying to think rationally. Listing pros and cons of things. And yet, that fear rears its ugly head leaving me doubting everything and back to being indecisive again.

So what’s your worst habit? 

And please, do you have any tips on how to decide any of my above conundrums? 

I’d be eternally grateful!

***Linking with Kirsty for I must confess and a bit late this Tuesday with Jess for IBOT***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

SANCH_sig1

 

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  • Vinay Leo R.
    July 19, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    Same pinch for the first para. 😛 I do all that too.

    I used to catastrophize, once upon a time. Perhaps, that was the worst phase of my life. Then I said, “This too shall pass” and it did. It takes a while at times, even now, to make that decision.

    My worst habit of late is that I am addicted to social networking so much that I have begun to neglect on writing. It’s something I want to change. I write, then midway, leave it and open FB.

    I don’t know how to solve your conundrums. But I think peace of mind helps. Maybe you can meditate on it. Cut out the world and think only of the decision at hand. That might help. I find that whenever I think of the world around me and if it catastrophically will be affected by my decision on something, I tend to delay the decision or even not take it completely.
    Vinay Leo R. recently posted…The Old FriendMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      July 19, 2016 at 8:56 pm

      You know what, you hit the nail on the head there with the meditating comment. I need to be mindful and stay present and hopefully things will sort themselves out

      • Vinay Leo R.
        July 20, 2016 at 5:42 am

        If you need someone to talk to, to clear your head, revisit the Raiders. in particular, yours truly 😛 I’ll try to hammer the nail in further. 😀
        Vinay Leo R. recently posted…A to Z of MeMy Profile

  • Shilpa Gupte
    July 19, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    You said it in your reply to Vinay, Sanch. Allow things to happen in their own way, in their own time. Don’t think too much. We waste our lives thinking way too much and then repent. And if you find this advice lame, (?) then just look at the pros and go for it. Whatever has to happen will happen, whether you think 10 times or try 10 different things.
    My worst habit as of now is I can’t let go of my damn phone. I am getting addicted to it and keep checking for notifications every now and then, in spite of the fact that it is giving me a headache and straining my eyes. I would love to use that time tof read good books, but the moment I pick up a book, my enthusiasm flies out of the window. Can you suggest something for me?
    It would be very helpful!
    Lover and hugs! ❤

    • Vinay Leo R.
      July 20, 2016 at 5:44 am

      If Babby doesn’t mind me jumping in with a response, I’d say the best solution for phone addiction is to keep the phone in silent mode and read. 😀 I’ve tried it and it works. I finished A Game of Thrones, cover to cover, in 3 and a half days. 😉
      Vinay Leo R. recently posted…Let Us Not Be IndifferentMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      July 20, 2016 at 5:48 am

      Allow life to happen…I wish I could follow that!

      Re your phone addiction, what I ended up doing was deleting my Facebook app and also stopped notifications for my messenger and Instagram….they’re my worst culprits. Apart from that, you could try Vinay’s too but my phone is always on silent due to work and it didn’t stop me from checking.

  • Shilpa Gupte
    July 19, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    So sorry for the typo there!
    Love and hugs! ?

  • Sid
    July 19, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    I guess you just have to jump in and let that boat take you as it goes. I think a lot of a us ‘overthink’ at times; and perhaps the older we are, we get a little less ‘pro-risktakers’ and more cautious. So, maybe a change is worth it. Good luck!
    Worst habit? Far too many me jot down. Short temper would be perhaps numero uno on that list.
    Sid recently posted…Is your Blog a Brand?My Profile

  • John Holton
    July 20, 2016 at 1:37 am

    I spent twenty years at a job I hated after five, but ummmed and aaaaahed for fifteen years until finally I was asked to leave. Don’t wait that long…
    John Holton recently posted…Two for Tuesday: Leo SayerMy Profile

  • Beat About the Book
    July 20, 2016 at 10:47 am

    I think that comes from growing older and getting comfortable in your space. You don’t want to disturb your comfort. When you’re younger you don’the perceive all the risks and that makes us braver. I have too many faults – top of the list would be indecisiveness.

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      July 20, 2016 at 11:07 am

      That’s a very good point — I think I have probably got a bit too comfortable. But with that comfort has come a bit of stagnation. Maybe it’s time to shake things up a bit

  • Linda
    July 20, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    This may sound really silly and ridiculous, but sometimes if I can’t make a decision I get someone to toss a coin or put their hands behind their back and I have to pick the hand the coin (or whatever is in). I label what heads/tails will be decision-wise, or what the full/empty hand means and then see what happens when the coin hits or I pick the hand. When I pick something and my stomach goes all weird on me, then I know it wasn’t the one I wanted after all. Does that make sense? It’s kind of the way to see if what turns up in the hand/on the coin matches my ‘gut’ and then I know anyway. Then I do what my gut said, not what the coin says (unless it agrees with my gut). 🙂 If I can’t get to my gut like that, then I try and set it aside for a while and see what happens naturally.

  • J.Gi Federizo
    July 21, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    I have my “How the (insert word here) did I do that? Me????” But it’s probably part of getting to know ourselves better, I guess. We get surprised by how brave we can be, or how cowardly, or how stupid, etc. It’s important that we recognize these things so we can improve ourselves.

    “And now, at 32, why is it so much harder to stick to something no matter how scary it might seem?”

    Because as we get old, we experience more pains and struggles, so changes somehow scare us — fear of the unknown. We somehow feel that time is gaining in on us and that if we don’t succeed, time might run out and then what?
    J.Gi Federizo recently posted…Words of ThanksMy Profile

  • J.Gi Federizo
    July 21, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Incidentally, I just encountered the term “Analysis Paralysis” after reading your posts! I am just reviewing my notes for something else ad there it was. Says there that it means “the state of overthinking that stops people from making a decision”
    J.Gi Federizo recently posted…The TKD Princess #AskWednesdayMy Profile

  • Roshan
    July 22, 2016 at 3:40 am

    You are worried about it at 31. I’m struggling with the same indecision now at 35. Work life, personal life, city to reside in, the future… everything seems blurry and that sucks honestly. Wonder if there are others like us right now and if there are, if its an astrological thing! Oh boy… that would be rich considering I religiously do not believe in it
    Roshan recently posted…Take a step outward or inward and look – really look – at me.My Profile

  • Emily
    July 22, 2016 at 10:00 am

    I do all this too. And over the tiniest of decisions, sometimes! #teamIBOT
    Emily recently posted…#InternettheBeatlesMy Profile

  • EssentiallyJess
    July 25, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    It sounds so hard. I haven’t been in that particular situation, but I know what it’s like to overthink things. Sometimes I think we just need to make a decision and go for it.
    But that’s much easier to say than do 🙂
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…#IBOT. All Grown Up.My Profile

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