Life

A process of elimination #FridayReflections

As we navigate this map called life, we encounter a number of people along the way. When we are innocent children, we accept the friendship of those who play with us; no strings attached. We are happy to play in the sand, push each other on swings, kick a football around. It’s the company we long for, the fun we have. Nothing more. Nothing less.

When we begin school, we befriend those we see often. Sometimes it’s the girl you sit next to. At other times, it’s the group doing something you are most interested in. Alliances begin to form. A give and take is expected. Yet, we make it work. We find common ground. We build the connections. We play. We laugh. We hurt.

During our teenage years, we begin to yearn for like minds. We connect with those who think a bit like us. The ones who challenge us. We also learn the cruelty that is adolescence. The back-biting and the bitching. The excluding and the nasty comments. Yet, we manage somehow to get through this stage. We have our tribe, our network. We may not always strive to be the popular kids but we are not immune to them.

By the time we reach young adulthood, we  open ourselves to new connections while keeping some of the old. We start to slowly eliminate those who don’t add much to our lives. It’s easy as we may not see them as often.

But how do we chip away those who are toxic? The ones who call themselves our friends but end up hurting us? The ones who exclude us? The ones who think we are not worth their time but who will call us when they need us? The ones who give us back-handed compliments? Or the ones who put us down constantly? Because the reality is, we do befriend these people. And somewhere along this journey, they begin to show their true colours. Or maybe, they just don’t feel the way they did when we first became friends.

Is it worth persisting? Is it worth trying to mend it for the sake of old memories?

Maybe not. Maybe every relationship has a time and a place. And maybe their time is gone. Maybe it’s time to eliminate them from our lives especially if they are causing nothing but hurt and pain and self-loathing and self-doubt.

Just as the sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed, so too should we rid our lives of people who drain us emotionally. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth the memories.

We can live a beautiful life if only we rid ourselves of the toxicity.

Have you had to eliminate people from your life?

How did you do it?

Do share!

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Corinne from Everyday Gyaan and yours truly give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up every Friday. The link will be open till the Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Prompts for this week:
1. Write about a wedding or a function you went to where everything that could go wrong did!
2. Look up your horoscope online. Pick up the last line of it and start writing!
3. Choose any of the prompts from January and write on that
4. “The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed – it is a process of elimination.” Elbert Hubbard. Use this quote in your post or as an inspiration for one.
5. Picture prompt (credit: Living my Imperfect Life)

We had two featured writers last week as voted by you: Rohan for his well-written claustrophobic haiku and Nikita for following her dreams. If you want to be a featured writer next week, do write on one of the prompts above. Come back and read the other posts and vote for your favourite post {preferably not your own!}.

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • Sid
    January 27, 2017 at 2:18 am

    I’ve had to eliminate people from my life .
    [Btw – eliminate people makes me sound like an assassin 🙂 ]

    I think the hardest, but quickest way to do it is like they say ‘Just rip off the band aid’. You just have to do it. The more we drag our feet, the harder it becomes and gives way for more ‘miscommunication and misunderstanding’.

    Good luck, Sanch.
    Sid recently posted…Help! I’ve read a Parenting Book!My Profile

  • Sid
    January 27, 2017 at 2:18 am

    I’ve had to eliminate people from my life .
    [Btw – eliminate people makes me sound like an assassin 🙂 ]

    I think the hardest, but quickest way to do it is like they say ‘Just rip off the band aid’. You just have to do it. The more we drag our feet, the harder it becomes and gives way for more ‘miscommunication and misunderstanding’.

    Good luck, Sanch.
    Sid recently posted…Help! I’ve read a Parenting Book!My Profile

  • Parul Thakur
    January 27, 2017 at 2:25 am

    We have all had toxic people in our lives. My way is to just let go. Slowly with time, the memories fade away and I feel better. You know, Sanch I have a very small circle of people who are close. I am very friendly but can’t get so close so in a way, I am with the ones I have got. And can you guess, how many are these people? Including VT, not more than 5 in a life of 35.
    I am sharing this since I feel with time, we need to let people go. IF and ONLY IF, they are worth your love and care they will stay back. The rest, better leave.
    Parul Thakur recently posted…The graceful flowerMy Profile

  • Parul Thakur
    January 27, 2017 at 2:25 am

    We have all had toxic people in our lives. My way is to just let go. Slowly with time, the memories fade away and I feel better. You know, Sanch I have a very small circle of people who are close. I am very friendly but can’t get so close so in a way, I am with the ones I have got. And can you guess, how many are these people? Including VT, not more than 5 in a life of 35.
    I am sharing this since I feel with time, we need to let people go. IF and ONLY IF, they are worth your love and care they will stay back. The rest, better leave.
    Parul Thakur recently posted…The graceful flowerMy Profile

  • Nikita
    January 27, 2017 at 3:53 am

    Our life is the masterpiece, we have to edit it ruthlessly for our own good. I have eliminated a lot of people in my life without regretting.

    Thank you so much for selecting my post as Featured Writer <3

  • Nikita
    January 27, 2017 at 3:53 am

    Our life is the masterpiece, we have to edit it ruthlessly for our own good. I have eliminated a lot of people in my life without regretting.

    Thank you so much for selecting my post as Featured Writer <3

  • Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic
    January 27, 2017 at 5:42 am

    This is an interesting read. I’m not sure I’ve purposely eliminated friends, several boyfriends, though. Most friendships that I have lost ended naturally. We just grew apart over time. And I lost some work friends when we no longer worked together. I don’t feel like anything ended on bad terms, but I really don’t know how any of those people feel about it,
    Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic recently posted…The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #101My Profile

  • Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic
    January 27, 2017 at 5:42 am

    This is an interesting read. I’m not sure I’ve purposely eliminated friends, several boyfriends, though. Most friendships that I have lost ended naturally. We just grew apart over time. And I lost some work friends when we no longer worked together. I don’t feel like anything ended on bad terms, but I really don’t know how any of those people feel about it,
    Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic recently posted…The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #101My Profile

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  • Shilpa Garg
    January 27, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    The quote about the sculptor and chipping away parts that are not needed sums up what we should be doing with the toxic people in our life. They truly drain life out of us and eliminating them from our life is the best strategy to maintain our sanity.

  • Shilpa Garg
    January 27, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    The quote about the sculptor and chipping away parts that are not needed sums up what we should be doing with the toxic people in our life. They truly drain life out of us and eliminating them from our life is the best strategy to maintain our sanity.

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